Forsaken
by WonderWithMe
Summary: Set after Devil’s Trap. The Winchester’s deal with the consequences of the crash. Sometimes the most terrifying thing for someone to experience is loss and Dean learns it in the most frightening of fashions.
1. Awakening

Hi Everyone, just wanted to say it's finally up ! Woohoo ! I know I've been promising forever to have this posted, so to all you guys who have been patient, here it is just for you. Just to tell you a little about this story. This took off as just a pre-log for the story that follows this, but in the end it took over and gathered a life of its own and became a mini story by itself.

It's set after Devil's Trap and it's the total work of my over stretched brain. Now after reading the spoilers that have come out for S2, it is now an AU story, but the boys are still themselves. I'm just borrowing them and their essences for a little while.

Oh and of course a big thank you to **Kellie, Kim and Paula** ! Love you ladies ! Also, it's dedicated to all those crazy people who listen to me and my theories over at a certain site !

Thanks

WonderWithMe- The Wonderer- United

Chapter One- Awakening 

His eyes opened slowly. The light, fuzzy and white as he waited for his eyes to refocus to the brightness of his surroundings. His eyes never focused; they just felt heavy and useless. Predictably, they closed again.

Upon waking again, he forced himself to stay awake, and took a small breath. His body reacted to his command as if he'd asked it to run a marathon without any training. It shook violently upon taking the breath.

Why on earth was he feeling like this...?

This time, he opened his eyes and forced them to stay open. Once the blue spots had stopped dancing in front of him, he groaned inwardly upon seeing where he was.

A hospital.

…_..Looks, like Sammy's got me locked up in here_...Dean thought as he shifted his weight uncomfortably in the bed.

It was now, that the elder hunter looked around the hospital room he was in, and noticed he was by himself. The room was averagely sized and there was a worn leather chair against the wall, and a vase filled with dying daisies; but other than that, the room was empty.

Dean Winchester closed his eyes and tried to piece together what he remembered from the night before. He remembered his father had been possessed by the demon. He remembered his father trying to kill him. He also remembered exactly what his father had said to him; something he wished he had not remembered.

He vividly remembered lying on the floor begging his younger brother not to kill their only parent. He agonisingly remembered his father shouting at his little brother to kill him while he had the chance. Most importantly, Dean remembered that his little brother had not killed their father; that alone proved to Dean then and there that Sam had finally made a choice.

His family was more important than any demon and finally Sammy understood that for himself.

…_..Where was Sam..?_ Dean wondered as he looked around the empty room. Not that he'd admit it, but Dean wanted to see his little brother, his father also, after all, the old man had been shot, but it was the lack of not seeing Sam that bothered him the most.

Sam had been fine during the confrontation with the demon, other than an emotional battering Sam had got away lightly.

Dean's eyes slowly scanned the room, and a strange feeling settled in his stomach, there was no sign in the room Dean lay in, that Sam had even been there. No empty food containers, no drink cups, no water, nothing.

Dean however, ignored the warning knot in his stomach and allowed his to eyes close again; all in all, Dean Winchester was happy.

His greatest fear was facing the demon and losing his family and while they had faced the demon, they'd got away; all of them. Sure they lost the demon, but that no longer bothered Dean, he knew they would find it again, and kill it. But for now, the elder hunter, the glue of the family, that worked relentlessly to keep his father and brother around him, had what he wanted; his family back.

John Winchester had even admitted that they were stronger as a family, and Dean couldn't have agreed more. Maybe now, they could actually work at being a family.

Sam had changed also, Dean would bet his life on it, but he was sure Sam's out look on hunting had changed. Well, he hoped so anyway. He hoped that Sam would actually see that hunting for Sam Winchester wasn't just something you did to get rid of annoying spirits, which pissed off people, or backed up your older brother because he told you to.

He hoped that Sam would see that this, the whole hunting game, was who they were. It was what they would do. It would be what they died doing. Sure there was the real world, with their real problems, but could the Winchester's actually live in the real world and deal with the real problems..? Dean wasn't sure, but he was sure as hell willing to find out with his family around him.

Dean wanted this demon dead. He wasn't stupid. He remembered as clear as day what the demon had said to Sam. His little brother was part of his plans.

…_..Ain't no way in hell, he's getting near Sam_...Dean growled to himself…… _Over my dead body..._

Speaking of body, Dean wondered why his hurt so much. It was only then the hunter studied himself. He glanced down at his wrists and saw that while they lie by his sides, one of them was bandaged with an IV tube attached within the bandage. That would explain why there was a pulsating tension in that arm, the damn IV line and needle jammed in his vein. Gingerly he raised the bandaged hand to the other and twisted his ID bracelet around his wrist. Dean found a small smile flicker on his face as he read the name he'd been registered under.

Dean Turner.

Turner had been his mother's maiden name. No doubt then to who had filled in his details; only his father would have done that. For starters, he knew Sam wouldn't put him under that name, and two, there were no credit cards out under the name of Dean Turner.

Dean grinned to himself, so daddy dearest was still pulling his credit card scams.

……._Right on dad..._

Dean then lifted the sky blue sheet that covered him, and made a face when he saw he was wearing a yellow hospital gown. Geeze, couldn't his brother or father have at least bought him some pyjamas, man did they forget that these god damn awful things opened right down the back..?

Peeved that neither Sam nor his dad had brought him any clothes, he was startled when the door to his room opened quietly. A nurse walked in.

_Hello..._Dean thought his mouth dropping open slightly, _Man, now I wonder if she's an angel of mercy_, Dean thought the grin once again appearing on his face.

His angel of mercy took another step forward, as she did, she took Dean Winchester's breath away. God she was stunning.

"Hey, it's nice to see you awake..." The twenty-something year old nurse said as she studied Dean's face, "I knew you'd have gorgeous eyes, once you kept them open long enough for me to look at them..."

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but nothing but a dry choke filtered out.

The nurse seeing the young man's panicked face gently ushered him to quieten and took a jug of water from behind the dying daisies and gently held Dean's head while he took shaky sips. Dean looked at her, gratefully.

"Thanks..." Dean whispered. Why was it hurting to talk ? In fact why was it hurting to do pretty much anything ?

"Oh you're welcome..." The nurse said with a grin, "I'm gonna call your doctor and tell him you're awake, he'll be really pleased to hear the news..."

"Do you have a name..?" Dean asked as he gave the young nurse his most irresistible smile.

"Kimberly..." The nurse said with a beautiful smile, "Now just relax, your injuries are doing ok, with a bit of luck, and you didn't hear this from me..."

"Go on..?" Dean said eagerly as he tried to get his elbows to push himself into a sitting position; which failed miserably. Defeated in front of the pretty nurse, Dean lay still.

"You could go home in a couple days..." Kimberly said with a grin, "You could see what the big wide world has been up to..!"

"Any idea where my brother is...?" Dean said with a tired look on his face, "I haven't seen him since I woke up. Guys like a super nerd, always got to keep track of the little man in case he's found some sort of gadget to play with..."

"Your, your brother...?" Kimberly stammered as she stared at Dean as if he'd just arrived from the planet Pluto.

"Yeah, my brother, Sam..." Dean said studying the young nurse's reaction.

"Tall, geeky, mop of a hair, barely an ass..." Dean said with a grin, when a notion struck him. Maybe Sam had said that he was Dean's cousin, or friend, anything but his brother.

Dean's hazel green eyes never left the dark haired nurse for a second, however he was no longer staring at her in lust, it now more lost than anything.

"I need to speak to him..." Dean said in a steady voice, wondering if the nurse had misunderstood him. "Is there a phone around here, I could always just call him on his cell..."

"Dean..." Kimberly said in a gentle tone as he reached above Dean's head and pressed the call button, "What exactly do you remember about the night you were brought in here..?"

"Not a lot, why...?" Dean asked as he looked at her worried face, his own body beginning to worry. He had known something was wrong from before, and had chosen to ignore it.

"Where's Sam...?"

"Do you remember anything about a car crash...?" Kimberly asked as he stared numbly at Dean's face.

"What car crash..?" Dean demanded, as he forced himself hurriedly into a sitting position, any pain he had previously felt being suppressed by the charge of horrified emotions that surged around his confused body. "When was there a car crash..?"

Dean looked around and feeling his world cave in around him. The empty room screamed loneliness as he realised that the reason why he was on his own in there, was because nobody else was around to be in it.

"Where's my brother...?" Dean managed to choke out, "What car crash, where's my dad...?"

"You were at the back, and you were hit side on by a semi..." Kimberly explained, "Your dad's fine Dean, he was discharged from hospital a week ago..."

"What..?" Dean shrieked out, as he begun to push the sheet off his body, "Where is he then...?"

"Dean, calm down..." Kimberly said trying to reassure the panicked patient in front of her.

"And Sam, is he ok...?" Dean whispered as he felt the little blood he had in his face drain away. His heart plunged to the bottom on his feet. "Where's Sam..?" Dean asked again staring at the nurse, "Please tell me where my brother is..."

"Sam's not very well Dean..." Kimberly admitted, as she sat beside the elder hunter, "I go and see him everyday, you know, just to come down and tell you about him..."

"What do you mean he's not well...?" Dean said feeling frightened tears welling up in his eyes, "Where is he...?" Dean demanded.

"He's in ICU..." Kimberly explained, "Dean, I am so sorry..."

"What's happened to him..?" Dean said his voice shaking, but desperately tried to save face in front of the pretty young nurse. "Please..."

"He took a massive blow to the head Dean; the doctors think he whacked it on the side window..." Kimberly explained watching Dean crumble in front of her.

Gone was the cheeky, cocky patient she'd seen when she'd walked in, now in front of her was a broken man.

"Oh god..." Dean said feeling the tears burn away, which he angrily blinked away.

"He suffered a blood clot, it burst and it caused a haemorrhage. They operated on him..." Kimberly explained, "But he hasn't regained consciousness since..."

"What does that mean though, that he'll never come around..?" Dean asked his stomach churning inside of him.

"We don't know, Dean, he's in a coma..." Kimberly explained, "But he's a tough kid though, he's hanging in there..."

Dean let the tears fall, he couldn't hold them back any more as two tears rolled aimlessly down his face.

"And my dad..?" Dean asked his back turned to the nurse. He no longer cared that she could see him completely naked, all be it with three string straps strung along his back.

"I haven't seen him since he got discharged..." Kimberly admitted, as she studied Dean worriedly. "I'm gonna see where your doctor is Dean..."

Dean never answered; in fact he didn't even hear the pretty nurse leave his room. All he could think about were two sentences circling inside of his head, threatening to devour him emotionally;

Sam was fighting for his life in a coma.

Their father had abandoned them again.

Oh crap don't you feel for poor Dean, To wake up alone…..poor boy. I know it was a little short but there's more to it and this is just the first chapter; think of it as me just giving out little torturous taster ! Stick with it I promise you you'll be in for a ride, oh and if you feel like reviewing then please do, it's always welcomed :o)


	2. Instincts

**Well, I did promise you guys that I'd update so here's chapter 2: Instincts. Can I firstly say thank you to all of you guys have who left a review. It's your comments that spur me on and keep me writing. There's nothing like a bit of encouragement to kick you up the ass ! Thanks for reading and reviewing, it's you guys that keep us lowly writers in action !**

Chapter Two- Instincts

"I want to see Sam..." Dean demanded nearly ten minutes later, his own doctor giving him a pointed look, as the elder Winchester swatted the doctor's hand away, who was trying to place the stethoscope against his chest.

"Dean..." The doctor said in an impatient tone, "I'm trying to help you here..."

Dean angrily kept his hands out, and threw the covers off the bed and swung his legs over the bed. He stood up instantly, and found himself crashing back down heavily onto the bed. The doctor grabbed Dean's arm to stop him falling off the small hospital bed completely. Then the doctor gave him a rueful look.

"You quite finished...?" The doctor demanded, the older man was growing increasingly annoyed with Dean's behaviour.

"Finished...?" Dean spat, "You haven't got me started yet..."

"Look, Mr. Turner..." The doctor snapped, "You've been in and out of consciousness for the last week, this is the first time you've actually been awake for a very long time. We're trying to make sure that everything is functioning properly..."

"How about I just save you the time and tell you yes..." Dean muttered as he sat up sharply and composed himself, before trying to stand again.

"I understand that you want to see your brother..." The doctor said in a reasonable tone, "But your brother can't help you, and you can't help him unless you're well yourself..."

"Sam..." Dean hissed, "His name is Sam..."

"I understand that you want to see, Sam..." The doctor insisted, as he eyed Dean sternly,

"But to be perfectly blunt, you're my patient, not him. Let the doctors on his section take care of him, and let me take care of you..."

"What's your name...?" Dean asked squarely, as he looked at the doctor, he was fighting every part of his instinct not to knock the doctor out.

"Dr. Wallis..." The doctor said with a sigh, "Dean, this really isn't…-"

"Do you have a brother Dr. Wallis...?" Dean demanded his eyes never leaving the doctor for a second.

"No..." Dr. Wallis said with a sigh, already knowing where this conversation was leading to.

"Then get out of my way..." Dean hissed bitterly, "I mean it, if you don't move. I will move you..."

"And I'll have you sedated..." Dr. Wallis countered. "Look, let me check you over, and I'll talk to one of nurses to see if they could take you over to the ICU so you can see Sam..."

Dean looked at the man, his face softening dramatically as he looked at the doctor quietly.

"Sam's going to be ok, right..?" Dean asked his hazel green eyes searching the doctor's face for any positive hint.

"Let's just send you down for some x-rays first Dean..." Dr. Wallis said with a nod, "Sam's not going anywhere..."

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean sat grumpily as he was being wheeled back to his room. He didn't even have pretty nurse Kimberly taking care of him, he had some guy in his thirties that couldn't stop talking about the hospital food.

They'd lied to him. They'd promised Dean that if he kept his mouth shut, and allowed the doctors to take pictures and prod him with cold instruments, that he'd be allowed to see his brother.

No one had even mentioned taking him over to the ICU to see Sam. Not even when Dean suggested that they should go straight after the tests, did anyone in the room acknowledge him.

He wasn't allowed to see Sam.

The nurse stretched his hand out to Dean to help him back into the bed. Dean scowled at the nurse. Didn't this idiot realise that these stupid gowns opened down the back, allowing your ass to hang out. Dean wasn't about to display his ass to anyone. At least not to this male nurse, cute nurse Kimberly perhaps, but not this guy.

Stubbornly, Dean sat silently in the wheelchair, and watched as the nurse shrugged his shoulders and walked out the room, closing the door behind him.

The elder hunter stared blankly at the rigid hospital bed in front of him, a million things racing through his mind.

…_..Why can't I see Sam...?_

Dean wondered to himself, as he imagined his brother lying in some room asleep. He also imagined the horrid expression on Sam's face if he woke up and found himself alone in the room. It didn't make sense that the hospital staff wouldn't allow him to see his little brother. Granted that Sam was twenty three and anything but little, but to Dean, until the day he died, Sam would be his little brother.

Dean thoughts stopped suddenly, what if Sam were dead...? What if that was the reason they weren't taking him to see Sam, because Sam was no longer here. They'd only told him that Sam was alive to keep him fighting fit.

His heart tightened in his chest. The stitches he'd discovered a couple of hours ago that were sprawled over his chest strung tighter than before, pulling at all his muscles and draining him of emotion.

"No, Sam's fine..." Dean whispered to the empty room, "I know he is, I mean I'd know if he was dead wouldn't I..? I'd just know..."

Dean sunk back in his seat. This was torture. He's only been awake a few hours and right now he'd give anything to go back to sleep, and to forget the nightmare that his mind was vividly creating for him.

Their father was gone, he'd taken off. Again.

Dean had asked to see who had paid for their hospital bills and unsurprisingly, he'd found that everything had been covered by their father, including post care and prescriptions. That alone spelled out to Dean that John Winchester wasn't coming back to Dean anytime soon.

It left a bitter taste in Dean's mouth.

How could his father take off with Sam in another ward, fighting for his life...?

Dean shook the image out of his head. No the hospital had to be wrong. His father was many things, but heartless wasn't one of them. He'd never leave either of his sons if he knew they were both battling for their lives.

Now Dean was conscious, John may not have to stick around for him- but Sam, he had to.

Sam wasn't out of danger according to pretty nurse Kimberly. Sam was in a coma. A blood clot invading his brother's brain and trapping him in a coma. No way would their father leave. Dean knew his father had done everything he could ever, humanly do to keep Sam safe from harms way. Right now, although there was nothing supernatural connected to Sam's condition, Dean hoped that John would stay just for that reason.

The boys needed their father.

Dean needed his brother.

Dean reached forward onto the bed and careful not to stretch his stitches too much, pulled a blanket off the bed and covered himself with it.

He had no idea where the ICU was in this hospital, but he was going to find out. Nobody needed to take Dean Winchester to see his little brother. He was more than capable of finding him himself...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester glanced around the deserted ICU and carefully scanned the nurse's station which was at the end of the corridor. There were five closed doors along this corridor.

Sam was behind door number two.

He'd known that the day the father had discharged himself from the hospital. He'd also learnt how to get past the nurse's station without being noticed. After all he'd had over a week to practice.

Over a week; nine days to be exact. Nine days since the crash. Nine days since he'd last seen Sam with his eyes open. It had been too long.

The father had peered in on his sons every single day. Visiting Dean daily to see what his tough solider had been up to. He kept reading Dean's notes that sat at the end of his unconscious son's bed. Dean was going to be ok. He'd probably be out of action for a while though. Not because of his injuries, but because John would make sure of it.

Dean hadn't known, but he'd been just around the corner when his eldest had come round. When he'd overheard the pretty nurse, that kept a special eye on his son's room, announce to the other nurses that Dean Turner was doing ok; it had been a very happy few hours for John Winchester.

He hoped that Dean would take note to listen to the doctors, relax and take it easy.

John grinned to himself as he studied the corridor, waiting for an opportunity to sneak into his youngest room. He'd been climbing the walls after only a day in hospital. He could only imagine what Dean was going to do. Dean and authority figures never went well together; it was a mortal blessing that Dean had ever bothered to listen to him.

Now there was just Sam. He'd asked the doctors what had caused the blood clot. The answer he'd received had shocked the father of two.

Sam had been found outside of the car on the road nearby.

Sam had been the one to call the emergency services. He'd been too out of it to tell them where they had been, but had had enough sense to leave the phone line open so the call could be traced.

It was Dean's phone Sam had used to call the emergency services with.

It hadn't taken long to figure out that Sam must have come round and been completely freaked out by what he saw. His youngest had somehow, through his injuries crawled into the back of the car, to Dean and got the phone from his brother.

The doctors had been pretty adamant when talking to John. Sam's phone call had saved Dean's life and his own.

It didn't seem fair now that Sam was the one left fighting for his life. The impact of the smash had left his son with a massive blood clot in his chest. If Sam had stayed still, the blood clot would never have moved to his brain.

Sam would never be in this coma.

John saw his chance, and slipped silently into his son's room, opening and closing the door in one swift, primal move. It wasn't until after he'd closed the door, that the father remembered the pain down his ribs.

Four broken ribs, a punctured lung and what to him felt like dancing elephants on his spine, but what translated to a bruised vertebrae, one nasty concussion and oh yeah, a gun shot wound to the leg; all considering, John Winchester had been pretty lucky.

John forgot his pain as soon as he saw Sam lying perfectly still on the bed. The exact same position he'd left his baby boy in yesterday, and day before that and the day before that.

The ventilator hooked to Sam's mouth looked invading as John silently sat on the bed, ignoring the chair beside him. He picked up Sam's hand in his and shuddered.

His son's hand was freezing. John sandwiched it between both of his and looked down at Sam. He hoped beyond hope that his little boy could hear him.

"You know, I found out that Dean's gonna be just fine Sammy..." John whispered to him, taking one of his hands away from his son's motionless hands, and stroking Sam's dark brown hair clear off his forehead.

"He's gonna be just fine Sam..." John said with a nod, "You saved him Sammy, you saved him..."

John studied Sam's face, hoping that Sam would open his hazel eyes, and look at him with that spark only Sam had. The eyes and face that told a million stories. The stubbornness his youngest carried that made him a Winchester. It made him John's son. Right now the father would give anything to have his son come round. He knew what he was about to say was going to break his heart.

But he had to say it.

"Sammy..." John whispered, "Son, I'm gonna go away for a little while, but Dean's gonna be here real soon. He'll be so happy to see you. So happy Sammy..." John whispered as he allowed his fingers to trace his son's features on his face.

"You're gonna wake up and you're going to be ok..." John told him, "I'm sorry I have to go Sammy, but I can't stay here with you and your brother. Not yet son..."

John tenderly reached forward and kissed Sam gently on his forehead.

"We're gonna be a family again Sammy I promise..." John whispered to Sam, "You, me and Dean, we're gonna be a family..."

John gently let go of his son, ignoring the painful fact that his son had not stirred once.

Standing at the door, his hand on the handle, it was going to take every ounce of strength the father had to leave this room and not come back in. But he had to. He was a hunter, but he was a father first and father's protected their children- no matter how old they were.

Dean and Sam we're his little boys. His sons. He'd be damned if he was going to just sit back and allow evil to destroy their lives as well. While the demon had been smart enough to possess John to terrorise Dean, he'd been stupid enough to choose John in the first place. John Winchester had known how to handle a slick bastard like that, he'd also learnt a hell load more than he had been expecting.

Armed with this new information, the father knew his precious sons were not ready for this war, not ready to fight with this new information. They need time to get better, time to heal and time with each other.

John was going to make sure they both got just that, and if it meant that he'd have to leave them temporally in doing so, then he would.

He knew Sam would be safe with Dean. He knew that Dean would be safe with Sam.

As the father tore himself away from his youngest child's room, it never entered the father's head that his youngest might actually die.

To John, Sam was going to be just fine.

It was a father's intuition.

**Hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll see you all for the next update xxx**


	3. Bitter Truth

**So here we are chapter three. Thanks again to all those who have read it and probably more importantly, thank you to those who left little old me a review. It's the like food for the soul when reading reviews (especially if they're good :o)) and it helps me keep writing. I'll admit that the first couple chapters are a little slow, but I promise if you stick with this little train, the ride will begin to pick up. Think of it as a rollercoaster and you're on the climb, and you're just about nearing the top when you stare down at nothing but a 90 degree angle. Yeah that little evil drop is coming….MUHAAA !**

**Thanks again for reading, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask away or leave in the review section.**

**Now onto Bitter Truth..**

Chapter Three- Bitter Truth

Dean Winchester wheeled himself silently down the corridor of the large hospital.

God hospitals were depressing places.

Dean knew they were there to make people get better, to fix them when broken, and stick a band-aid over a boo-boo when things got a little rough. Truth was though, too many people went into hospitals, and not enough of them came back out.

That one thought alone was pushing Dean on to find Sam. It was becoming a hunt all by itself. All be it, a hunt in rather different circumstances, but a hunt none the less.

Something had his brother, and Dean was going to find him.

Ok chances were, what was holding Sam was nothing more than an IV drip, and some bland coloured walls, but to Dean, turning this into a hunt was the only thing keeping him sane right now.

Every single friggin wing of this hospital looked the damn same.

It was doing Dean's head in.

The boards were too high up to read, and Dean was finding he had to wheel himself backwards a couple feet, every time he saw a board just so he could read it. He could easily see that even though this was a hospital, it was anything but disability friendly.

Cursing to himself and wishing that walking wasn't as painful as it was, he continued to roll down the endless hospital corridors.

There had to be an easier way to find the ICU, one that didn't result in Dean rolling around aimlessly, from corridor to corridor, and ward to ward. One that also didn't result in Dean getting busted by other nurses. He knew it wouldn't be long before they noticed that his room was empty and no doubt, people would start looking for him. Dean knew the first place they would look would be the ICU section.

Screw them for knowing where it was.

Dean knew he would be livid if they caught him, without him seeing Sam. So the elder brother stopped looking for the actual ward and started looking for an elevator. Surely inside there would explain to him where the ICU wing, of this god forsaken hospital was and to get there, all he had to do was press a button.

Dean remembered seeing a set of elevators, back down the corridor he'd just come from. Wheeling himself around Dean found a smile hovering on his face.

He wished Sam was here. He knew he'd be able to convince Sam to find a wheel chair of his own, so they could race each other along the corridors. Dean smiled to himself as he pressed the button and called the elevator down. He could hear Sam's voice clearly in his head. He could imagine Sam arguing with him that it was abusing hospital equipment, and that it wasn't the right thing to do.

God he missed his geeky Sam.

Dean waited as the elevator doors opened and groaned loudly.

Standing on the other side was pretty nurse Kimberly.

"Dean...!" Kimberly muttered, as she walked straight to him, as she watched as Dean tried to wheel away. Instead the young nurse grabbed the handle on the back of the chair and promptly applied the brake.

Dean grinned at her innocently, "Fancy seeing you here...?"

"Nice try Dean..." Kimberly said with a smile, "What do you think you're doing...?"

"Popping wheelies, what on earth does it look like I'm trying to do...?" Dean muttered his mood promptly darkening as he could see his hopes being dashed.

"I know you want to see your brother..." Kimberly sympathised, "But you can't just take off around the hospital Dean..."

"Well, I need to see him..." Dean said in matter of fact tone, "Now..."

"I promise that I will take you myself tomorrow morning to see him..." Kimberly promised as she knelt down beside Dean who stared glumly at his lap, "Dean just because you're conscious and you can pull yourself around in this wheelchair; it doesn't mean you're well..."

"Can't I just see him for five minutes...?" Dean whispered.

Dean Winchester rarely ever begged, in fact, he couldn't remember the last time he begged for anything. Usually his sweet mouth and his gift of the gab always got him what he needed. But on this occasion, short of throwing himself down on the cold floor and screaming his head off; he'd do pretty much anything to see Sam.

"I'm begging you..." Dean whispered finally looking at nurse, taking in her blue eyes. "I just need to tell him that I'm here..."

"Dean I can only imagine how you're feeling..." Kimberly admitted with a sigh.

"How I'm feeling...?" Dean said shaking his head. "I woke up thinking that my brother had gone to buy some candy or something, that my dad was talking to a doctor. I find out that my dad's gone, and my brother is barely hanging onto his life, because of a car crash I don't even remember..." Dean said feeling angry tears burning in his eyes, as he frantically blinked them away. "I am now so close to seeing Sam, and now you want me to go back to my room and wait until morning..? I can't. I need to see him..."

"Dean, I could get into a hell of a lot of trouble if I take you in there..." Kimberly admitted, "Just hang on, please. I'll get them to clear you medically and you can then see him and spend some time with him..."

"You said he's in a coma..." Dean said his hazel eyes dark and heavy as he closed them trying to control the tears that threatened to fall. He'd be damned if he was going to cry like a child in front of this beautiful woman again. "How long has he been in the coma..?"

"Since he arrived at the hospital, he never regained consciousness..." Kimberly explained, "I don't know the full story behind Sam's case. Because I'm not a trauma nurse we're not really supposed to look through the files. All I can tell you is what I've heard from other nurses. The people taking care of Sam will know everything and you can drain every ounce of information from them tomorrow..."

"I heard that sometimes coma patients can still hear people..." Dean said numbly, never acknowledging what Kimberly had said.

"It's true, some have reported on hearing conversations and noises from visitors when they come around..." Kimberly admitted.

"Maybe Sam hasn't come round yet, because he hasn't heard my voice..." Dean said hope slowly clawing its way back to the surface of his face. "I mean, he could come round tonight Kimberly if I go and see him..."

"You are stubborn..." Kimberly muttered, as she snapped the brake off Dean's chair and turned him towards the elevators. "And relentless..."

"If you think I'm bad, you wait until Sammy wakes up..." Dean said unable to hide the huge grin on his face.

"Two Turners to deal with...?" Kimberly murmured as Dean watched carefully as the nurse hit level 5 on the key pad. "How on earth will this hospital cope..?"

Dean didn't care how the hospital coped. They'd behave themselves, most of the time. As long they didn't have to be separated on different floors with a pile of restrictions heaped on top of them.

Dean grinned; he'd worry about the complications tomorrow. Right now, he was off to Sam, to break the spell the coma seemed to have his baby brother transfixed in.

Sam would wake up tonight, and everything would be ok.

Dean was sure about that. He was the big brother. That meant he was always right….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

As Dean took in the corridor he was being led down, he mentally tried to make a note of everything he could see. This way when he snuck back later tonight, to stay with his brother, he'd know exactly where to go.

The elder hunter spotted the nurse's station down the end of the corridor, and nurse Kimberly parked him on the opposite side of the corridor, and took off towards the nurse's station.

Dean drummed his fingers impatiently against the wheelchairs handle, and counted the rooms on this section of the ward. There were only five.

Dean couldn't help but find that strange, he'd expected the ICU wing to be much bigger than this. It didn't matter though, as long as he could see Sam.

On the way up to the ward, Dean had been wondering about the car accident. How had it happened..? He knew that Sam had been driving and his father had been shot in the leg, while he was bleeding behind Sam's seat in the back of the Impala.

The Impala. His beautiful 1967 black Chevy Impala.

Dean wondered if it too had survived the crash. He'd grill Sam about that later on. After all, he was the one who crashed the car, and Dean reckoned that gave him some rightful teasing ground regarding Sam's driving ability. It would be in good taste obviously, but brothers were allowed to rag one another when it came to their driving, it was just the way things were.

Nurse Kimberly walked over to Dean, who looked up at her as she approached.

"Behind door 2...?" Dean guessed with a smile.

"Good guess..." Kimberly said with a grin, "Sure you're not a psychic..?"

A smile played over Dean's face. "Nah, there's only room in this family for one psychic..."

"Oh really, and who would that be...?" Kimberly said with a grin, "Because I've always wanted my palm read..."

"Well, I may not be able to read palms, but I can read other kind of signs..." Dean teased as he examined the pretty nurse close up. His playful nature trickling back to the surface, as the stress he was under begun to vanish.

"Dean Turner, are you hitting on me...?" Kimberly said a smile on her face.

"Possibly..." Dean said a wide smile on his face, "You just tell me how hard to hit..."

Kimberly never answered as her hand hovered on the door handle to room number two. She glanced nervously at Dean.

"Listen Dean..." Kimberly started, "There's gonna be a couple machines around Sam, and some tubes, they're just there to help him, ok..?"

"Oh don't be all melodramatic..." Dean muttered with a grin as he reached for the handle himself, "Chicks and their emotions..."

Dean pressed down the handle and allowed Kimberly to hold the door open as the elder hunter wheeled himself into his brother's room.

The smile that been plastered across the handsome big brother's face fell off instantly as his eyes took in his little brother.

"Oh, my, god..." Dean whispered the words barely leaving his mouth as he looked in horror at his brother.

Dean slowly wheeled himself closer to Sam's bed. He needed to get closer, only to prove to himself that what he saw was just a freaky figment of his imagination. If Dean hadn't have already been sitting down, he was pretty sure that Kimberly would have been picking him off the floor.

"Sam..." Dean said, already trying to struggle into a standing position. Kimberly grabbed his arm, steadying the elder brother, as Dean slowly sat down at his brother's side. His head moved anxiously to Kimberly.

"How long has he been like this...?" Dean whispered, his hands never touching Sam. His eyes did all the probing on their own. This was worse than anything he'd ever seen in his life so far.

"Nine days..." Kimberly said quietly as she stood at Sam's foot side, "I'll try and have Sam's doctor come and talk to you..."

"Thanks..." Dean mumbled his eyes never leaving Sam's face as Kimberly disappeared through the door, plunging the brother's into the dimly lit room.

This was far from what Dean was expecting. Far from it.

He'd expected to see Sammy lying on his side, maybe looking a little bruised and rough around the edges, but sleeping soundly. Not lying flat on his back, in another horrid looking hospital gown, with this huge tube coming out of his mouth. It was taking every ounce of common sense for Dean not to yank the interfering object away from Sam.

There were wires coming from under Sam's bed sheet, and a couple of IV bags hung to one side, that disappeared into the back of a bandage on Sam's hand. Dean had been surprised at how big the needle was that went into the vein, he also remembered how much it hurt, and unsurprisingly, how much he had cursed when it had been removed earlier that afternoon. A grey clip was also attached to the end of Sam's finger. Only one of Sam's hands lay free of intrusion, and it was that hand that Dean picked up. The elder boy was taken back by how cold it.

"Dude, you're freezing..." Dean whispered to him, "Got to get these people to crank the heating up..."

Dean studied his little brother. This person looked nothing like Sam. Nothing like his Sam at least. This person lying on this bed was fighting death. The Sam he knew loved nothing more than living.

Dean's hand gently moved to his brother's head, and he touched his hair. It was then Dean felt a small white bandage that was behind Sam's left ear, and disappeared into his hair. It's where they'd operated. It's where they'd removed that invading, son-of-a-bitch of a blood clot from his brother's brain.

"Sam..." Dean whispered leaning down very close to his brother's face, "Sam it's me, Dean. Come on dude, we got to get out of here. We have to go soon, so no more napping now..."

Dean jumped when he heard the door reopen and he saw pretty nurse Kimberly and a man, who was in his early forties, stand beside her.

"So you're Dean..." The doctor said with a bright grin, "I've heard a lot about you today..."

"None of its good I suppose..." Dean murmured quietly. He was still having a hard time digesting Sam's appearance.

"I think they're just not used to having such a firecracker in these wards..." The doctor said moving towards Dean, "This hospital is usually pretty quiet..."

"I'm not leaving this room, not until he wakes up..." Dean suddenly blurted out at the doctor.

"Oh, Dean, I'm not going to ask you to leave…" The doctor said warmly, "I think Sam here could do with some company. I think the kid's feeling a bit lonely..."

"No one as come to see him..?" Dean asked half heartedly, "No one at all..?"

"No one has come to see Sam in over nine days..." Doctor said with a smile as he sat down beside Dean. "He's a tough kid that brother of yours..."

"Yeah, he was born stubborn..." Dean said with a wistful smile, "He never gives up anything without a fight…"

"Sounds a bit like his older brother..." The doctor teased, as Dean smiled warmly at the doctor.

Sam had a nice doctor; Dean liked him a heck of a lot more than the crabby, grumpy man he had been saddled with. Geeze, discharge day couldn't come any faster right now.

"I'm Dr. Kessin..." The man explained, "I've been looking after Sam since he was admitted..."

"Looks like he's in good hands..." Dean admitted, "What I don't get is why he hasn't woken up yet. Nine days..? Man, that's really long..."

"It's not too bad..." Dr Kessin replied with a light smile, "He's a tough cookie this kid, considering everything he's been through..."

"Any idea what actually hit us..?" Dean asked glumly as he stared at Sam's still face.

"According to the cop report, a semi hit you guys..." Dr Kessin explained, "I don't know if anyone would have found the three of you, if Sam here hadn't made that call…"

"What..?" Dean whispered looking up suddenly at the doctor, "Sam called for help...?"

"Dean he got out the car, and called for help..." Dr Kessin said, "Paramedics found him lying in the road…"

"Way to go Sam..." Dean said patting his brother's hand, "I'll have to buy you that strange blue looking snow cone you seem to like as a reward..." Dean teased.

"Way to go indeed..." Dr Kessin said standing up, "If Sam hadn't had made that call you and your father would have died on that stretch of road..."

"It's just a shame that the movement caused this situation…" Dr Kessin muttered, "Sods law always did enjoy biting people in the ass..."

"Movement, what kind of movement...?" Dean demanded, "What did Sam do to himself..?"

"Because he got out the car, he was moving around..." Dr Kessin explained, "It set the blood clot off from his chest and it started to move towards his brain…"

Dean stared numbly at Sam, "So if he'd just woken up and stayed still, like you're supposed to. None of this would have happened..? He'd be fine, instead of hooked up like Robocop...?"

"Probably..." Dr Kessin said with a shrug, "But just bare in mind, if he had done so, you and your father would have died from your injuries, which in hindsight, at the time, were worse than Sam's..."

Dean no longer heard what the doctor was explaining to him. The realisation of the situation was beginning to hit home.

Little brothers were not meant to save their big brother's life. It was meant to be the other way around. Dean was meant to have saved Sam.

Instead Sam had saved Dean.

Sam had saved Dean's life, not even stopping to consider his own injuries for a second when he'd got out of the car to get help.

Now he was hooked up to these machines, these strange machines keeping Sam alive.

It made Dean angry. Angry that he hadn't been able to stop Sam.

The elder Winchester picked up Sam's hand in his and squeezed it warmly, and held it against his face. A new respect had grown for his younger sibling, the bond he shared with him running even deeper now.

It was now Dean's turn to save Sam.

And by God, Dean Winchester had no intentions of failing...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Poor old Dean, putting himself under all this pressure. Hope it doesn't come back to bite him in the ass…..Until next update guys xxxx**


	4. Angels

**Thanks to those who are still reading. Judging from the response from chapter three, I take it you guys didn't like it !LOL. Hopefully you'll like this one a little better. As always please read and review, it's the only way I have a clue to what you guys think !**

Chapter Four- Angels

Dean's eyes flickered open slowly.

Man did his back hurt. Nope, his head hurt worse than his back. Nope wrong again, his chest hurt more than any of those previously thought places.

Clicking the knots out of his neck, he was nearly taken back when he saw where he was. The mist of sleep faded from his eyes, allowing him to see the cruelty of the situation in all its horrendous glory.

Sam was still in the exact same position he'd left him last night.

Dean cursed himself for falling asleep at his brother's bed side, but truth was he was beyond tired. If his baby brother didn't have as many ugly tubes and wires coming out of him, Dean probably would have bumped him over and slept beside him. Instead he'd had to stay sitting on the world's most uncomfortable plastic chair, and was hunched over the bed staring at Sam.

…_.Why wasn't Sam waking up…?_ Dean wondered to himself. He'd talked himself into confusion last night, talking about anything, and everything that came to his over medicated brain, but he avoided certain topics. Topics on their god forsaken father and on the crash.

Dean wasn't quite ready for those conversations yet. He wasn't sure if he ever would be.

Dean looked down at his hand and found that it still covered Sam's; he picked it and gave it a squeeze.

"Morning sunshine…" Dean said with a smile as he eased his body out of the chair and slowly sat on Sam's bed. "You're looking much better today; I swear you're getting some colour back in your face…"

Dean was lying. Sam looked no better than he had done yesterday or the day before that. Truth was, Dean was running out of things to say. Ok, that wasn't exactly true either. Dean had plenty to say. So many things that needed to be said to Sam. So many things he needed to tell his brother, but just didn't know how to.

Simple words like, 'I love you' and 'I miss you', always danced around Dean's head, the words, 'I need you Sam', always got as far as his lips but the words never went further. It was trained habit, disguising emotion and vulnerability with humour and laughter, for god sakes, even the freaking demon who had done this to their family had known.

Dean ran a hand through his own brown hair, as he studied his brother's perfectly still face.

God he'd give anything right now just to see his brother open his eyes, anything.

Dean tried to shove the kind Dr. Kessin's words out of his mind. Yeah he knew what a coma was; it meant that Sam was asleep. Well that's what he would keep telling himself, his brother wasn't in some over technical explanation the doctor had used. He was sleeping and he would wake up. All people woke up, and Sam would be no different.

……_Why won't you wake up…? Come on Sam, you've had your fun; you've scared the hell out of me. I realise now that you can scare me, and yes, ok I do need you and I do love you, possibly I will allow you to have a couple more Vanilla Latte's before I call you Francis again, but god child, please wake up……_

Dean thought to himself, as he felt angry tears welling up in his eyes.

"You're gonna make me do this the hard way, aren't you Thelma..?" Dean said staring at Sam, his brother just a limp form, the image being engraved into his head.

"You're gonna make me do the whole chick thing, where I tell you all my undying secrets, and confess my true feelings for you…?" Dean said patting his brother's hand playfully, " You're not fooling me Sammy boy, oh no, I've been your big brother too long, I know when you're pulling games, and you're pulling games right now…"

Dean stared at the face that never flinched; he stared at the face that breathed in rhythm with that stupid plastic tube coming out of Sam's mouth. God, Dean wanted to pull that thing out and chuck it away.

"Sam…." Dean said feeling the tears burn his eyes now, as his voice dropped to nothing but a whisper, "You're pulling games right..?"

Dean stood up from the hospital bed, and walked around the room, geeze that hurt more than he'd expected. The elder hunter looked around for his new trusty stead, and found that his wheelchair was against the wall. That wall seemed too far away for Dean to walk to right now, so he went to his other trusty stead, the one trapped in this god forsaken coma, his partner in crime; his brother.

"I'm gonna give you five minutes Sam, to wake up…" Dean threatened in a hopeful tone, trying to keep his nerves steady, and inject some hardness into his tone. He needed Sam to snap out of this, the longer he remained like this, the more danger Sam was…

_...Stop it Dean…….._ Dean shouted at himself inwardly…….. _Stop thinking like that. He's sleeping, he won't die, he's not going anywhere, that's what you're here for, to make sure nothing happens…._

"If you don't wake up by then Sam…" Dean said feeling the tears already beginning to fall, "I'll never speak to you again, I swear to god I mean that, Sam if you leave me here, if you stay like this, I will hate you for the rest of my life !"

Dean sunk onto the bed, unable to stop the tears falling down his face.

"Is this what you wanted…?" Dean shouted at Sam, "This, everything coming to a stop. What were you thinking you stupid son-of-a-bitch!" Dean bitterly snapped, "How dare you get out the car, you know Sam, you KNOW, you don't move after a car crash, you stay still…!"

"I hate you…" Dean whispered, letting go of Sam's hand, and covering his face with his own shaking hands, "I hate you for leaving me here on the outside, how can you do this...? If you love me, please…"

Dean stared anxiously at Sam, his anger growing rapidly as his younger brother stayed rigid, never moving, and never flinching. Just perfectly still. Lifeless.

Dead.

This was Dean's punishment.

Left to stare at Sam's lifeless form for the rest of his life. He knew with his father gone, Sam was all he had. He wouldn't stray from his brother's side, and as long as Sam remained trapped in some unconscious merry-go-round, Dean would be beside him.

Even the evil bastard of the demon had known how empty Dean's life would be without his father, or brother. More tears burned at Dean's eyes, and spilled helplessly down his checks, everything he'd pent up inside since he'd regained consciousness yesterday burrowed out of him like an illness. His family didn't need him. Dean knew it, they knew it. His brother was stronger, tougher in ways that Dean couldn't imagine. Truth was, he needed them, wanted them around much more than what they needed him.

The truth was bitter, and it made his heart hurt.

His father had left him, not even caring whether Sam died.

Suddenly a horrid thought flashed across Dean's mind, and he instantly felt a sob escape his lips as he lowered his head down on Sam's chest. The sobs broke across the elder brother's body.

Maybe that was why their father had left. Maybe he had expected Sam to die.

John Winchester was no prize father, but Dean was sure he loved them. Maybe the old man couldn't stick around and watch his baby boy just die.

Dean felt his hands hold onto Sam's shoulders and pull him slightly closer to him, embracing him in a hug. God, Sam felt so cold.

"I didn't mean it…" Dean whispered in Sam's ear; as he rested his head against his brother's, "Please Sam, I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I don't…"

Dean sighed heavily and gently placed Sam back down on the bed. He sat uncomfortably on the bed and lent close to Sam's face.

"Do you remember when you were little…?" Dean said quietly, "You kept having this nightmare about this thing in the closest, trying to pull you from your bed...?" Dean said as he rested his head against Sam's chest, listening to the mechanical pull of the machines, but his brother's heart pumping steadily in his chest.

"You'd come and hide in my bed…" Dean said with a smile, "You must have been about nine…?"

"It was the first time either of us had had our own rooms in ages..." Dean said with a flicker of a smile, "I remember I came home from school completely freaked out, I'd gone to pick you up from school and you weren't there..."

"I ran home, knowing that dad would kill me, but knowing that I needed him to help me find you..." Dean said with a smile, "What did I find when I got back to the house..? You were upstairs dragging your mattress into my room…"

Dean laughed at the memory, "I came so close to knocking you clean down the stairs Sam, I was so angry at you for just taking off from school, only to come home and find you rearranging the furniture…"

"I asked you what you were doing..." Dean said with a chuckle, his hand now stroking Sam's hair absently, "Do you remember what you said...?"

Dean paused and waited for Sam to open his eyes and finish the conversation. That way they could both laugh at the memory together, like they were supposed to. Sam didn't open his eyes, causing Dean's heart to sink as fresh tears sprung to his eyes.

"You said, that nothing bad would happen, if you stayed with me..." Dean said slowly picking his head off his brother's chest again, and looking at Sam's face, "That the monster wouldn't come if I was there..."

"Sammy, I promise I won't let this demon get you..." Dean whispered as tears trickled down his face, "If that's why you won't wake up, because you're scared of what's gonna happen, then don't be scared. I'm here; I'm not going anywhere..." Dean promised sincerely, "Just come on dude, I'm falling apart here, I need something from you, anything, give me some hope Sam..."

Dean whispered, "Find a way to give me a sign baby brother..."

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester picked up the first aid kit and loaded it securely, back into the newly restored 1967 Chevy Impala. God, the car looked great.

They were outside of the musty old motel that John was staying in.

"Dean's going to be real impressed at seeing her back to her new found glory..." John said with a smile, as he grinned over at his old friend Bobby that stood beside him. "Even got rid of the rust..."

Bobby looked at John awkwardly, "Maybe you ought to go see the boys and give the keys to Dean..."

"I can't…" John said simply, as he slammed the trunk shut and tossed the keys to Bobby, "You know I can't go to them yet..."

"Johnny, your boys need you..." Bobby said trying to reason with the ex-marine. "Sammy, he needs you. The boys still in...-"

"I know what he's in Bobby…" John muttered, "I also know my boys, and I know they'll be fine. Now Dean's getting back on his feet, he'll take care of Sam..."

"And if Sam dies...?" Bobby bitterly snapped, "Because as much as you dismiss the idea John, it can happen. The boy is hanging…-"

"Don't you say that...!" John shouted angrily as they stood in the darkened sky, "Don't you ever say that..!"

"Well somebody has to..." Bobby said never backing off from John, "That child could die, and where would his father be..? Off ghost hunting..!"

"If I go to my boys, no..." John said abruptly, turning away angrily, "I know what I'm doing..."

"Is that what you're going to tell Dean..?" Bobby muttered, as he walked away from the back of the Impala, "When he's left with nobody. He's a bright boy Johnny; you don't think he's figured out that you've bailed on the both of them..?"

"I haven't bailed on my children..." John said hotly, "They are safe where they are. They are coming first from now on, but first I got one small thing to take care of..."

"The demon..?" Bobby laughed, "Johnny that's not exactly a small thing..."

"It's not the demon..." John finally admitted, scrubbing his face in frustration, "It's something else..."

Bobby looked questionably at John, "You'd tell me if you'd found something out about that son-of-a-bitch..?"

"Just take the car and this bag and drop it off at the hospital..." John said pointedly, "I'll be gone before you get back..."

Sighing, Bobby climbed into the Impala and slammed the door shut, causing John to roll his eyes. "Take it easy with the car..."

"Anything you want me to tell Dean...?" Bobby tempted the father.

"Yeah, don't talk to either of them..." John said simply, "I don't want them to know you're around here either..."

"You're one stubborn bastard Johnny..." Bobby said starting the engine to the Impala, "I just hope you know what you're doing. Those boys will never forgive you for leaving them; Dean especially..."

"I'll make him understand..." John said simply. He truly believed that he could win Dean's trust back and Sam's for that matter. He'd start on it as soon as he saw his sons again.

Watching as Bobby drove the Impala away; the elder hunter opened his motel room door and walked in. It was time to start packing.

As he picked up his duffle bag, reaching for his toiletry kit, the man started to make a mental list of things he had to do. He had to go get his truck from the warehouse, wire money into an account for the boys and then go take care of business. John Winchester business.

Sighing, he stood up straight and walked over to the dresser, and froze.

A wisp of swirling white lights hovered in front of him, slowly forming a beautiful, innocent silhouette. Dressed all in white, the face smiling and relaxed as it always was.

Its hand reached forward and gently cupped the elder hunters face, staring into the man's hazel eyes.

"Take care of Dean for me dad..." The voice said gently, free of pain, filled with release.

John stood shaking furiously on the spot, his face feeling the warmth of his son's touch, "Sam...?"

"Take care of yourself..." Sam whispered, "Take care of each other..."

"Sammy wait...!" John begged, as his hand tried to reach out for his child. His hands simply passed through Sam's spirit.

"Bye dad…" Sam whispered.

Just as the beautiful swirl of white lights had appeared, they slowly disappeared in the same circular motion.

John Winchester grabbed his jacket and like a mad man, ran straight for the motel door...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester stirred in his sleep, a warm hand gently touching his cheek and the top of his head causing him to awake from the cosy sleep he'd fallen into. He'd know that clumsy touch anyway.

"Sam...?" Dean said in a sleep filled voice as he slowly raised his head and saw Sam standing before him. A smile broke across Dean's face.

"Dude, where did you get all the white clothes...-"Dean's voice slowly trailed off.

Dean looked around where he was and looked straight at the figure that still lay hooked to all the machines and ventilator. Sam was still in a coma, lying perfectly still. Unmoving.

Dean slowly turned to the person standing on his right, and felt the colour drain from his face.

"Oh god no..." Dean whispered as he saw the swirls of light continuing to surround Sam's spirit.

"See you around Dean, just not too soon ok...?" Sam whispered to his brother as Dean franticallyscrambled to his feet.

The elder hunter ran for his brother's hospital door, throwing it open in one swift move. The pain and agony in his own body he had felt just a few hours ago vanished, as the naked truth of what was happening dawned on him.

"HELP...!" Dean shouted his eyes desperately moving back and forth frantically between the spirit that was Sam, and the comatose little brother that lay on the bed.

"This can't be happening..." Dean whispered, his body shaking furiously as he saw a nurse and Dr. Kessin hurrying towards him.

"It's ok Dean..." Sam said, startling his elder brother, who was shaking furiously. Dean saw the spirit and ran to the opposite side of the room.

"Get back in your body you selfish bastard...!" Dean shouted at Sam, "If you give one shit about me Sam, you better not be doing what I think you're doing..."

"I can't hang on..." Sam said his voice getting weaker, his spirit becoming more transparent. "Thank you Dean, for eve...-"

"Shut-up..." Dean hissed and pointed to the coma victim on the bed, "Get back in there, or I swear to..-" Dean demanded, rage on his face clear.

He couldn't believe that his brother had come to him, as a frigging spirit, what, waking up and just talking to him was too easy for Sam now..?

Dean was so angry, so angry, that Sam could even think of dying now and leaving him.

Sam wasn't going to die, this was just Sam trapped in limbo, and Dean would be more than willing to kick his skinny ass back into his body. If only Dean had his shot gun or a boot.

"I can't hold on anymore..." Sam whispered as the swirls of white lights begun to overtake his body, "I love you Dean, you'll never be on your own. I'll always watch over you..."

Dean stood rigid, as the spirit vanished from his eyes, the lights, filled with purity and innocence removed without the elder brother ever saying anything back to the boy.

"Sam...?" Dean whispered, as he looked at the space his little brother's spirit had been in seconds ago.

Dean stood numbly, not even feeling himself being moved quite forcefully out of the way by two male nurses. The sound, everything, had drained away from his mind. The only thing he could hear was the echo of the promise his baby brother had made to him seconds before he'd vanished.

……_..I'll always watch over you..._

Reality begun to hammer it's way into Dean's brain, as the older brother turned slowly towards the scene taking place around his baby brother's bed.

He heard no voices, no talking, although the elder hunter knew that rapid shouting was taking place.

All Dean Winchester could hear was the wail of the heart monitor. A low, loud consistent cry.

Sam Winchester had flat lined...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Ermm, only one phrase should come to mind…..uh-oh….. Don't forget to review please !**


	5. Heroes

**Thank you all so much for all the reviews. They were fantastic and really do fuel a person to keep on writing. Now admittedly chapter five is a little on the short side, but once you read it, you'll understand why. It was too important to lump it in with other scenes.**

**Heroes have a special meaning for all the Winchester men, especially Dean.**

**Please read and review, after all it's the only way I know what you guys are thinking.**

Chapter Five- Heroes

John Winchester flew through the doors of the ICU wing, and stood rigidly outside Sam's door. The door itself was closed, but the plastic blinds to the window were half up.

The father pressed his palms against the glass and stared out at the scene, the scene itself threatened to destroy the reality the older man knew.

"Come on Sam..." John begged as he his eyes never left Sam's body, which nurses and doctors frantically worked on, trying to bring his child back from the dead.

John closed his eyes, and sucked in a deep breath.

He froze by the door, his hand resting on the handle. He knew who was on the other side.

Dean.

How could he explain this to him..? How could he even begin to try and make his eldest son believe that he'd done the right thing in leaving…? Bobby was right; he should have never left his children. Screw Bobby for being right. Screw the demon for taking Mary, screw everyone for making his life a friggin living nightmare.

Screw this entire situation.

Here he was, a grown man, too afraid to go to the sides of his children who both desperately needed him. He was scared. Scared to what would happen if he crossed the threshold and went to Dean and Sam.

He couldn't go in, he wouldn't go in.

Fear did funny things to the human brain.

He wouldn't lose his sons. Neither of them. Sam would be just fine, he was positive about that, and Dean would be just fine as well.

John Winchester sighed loudly and closed his eyes. He then started to do something he hadn't done in over fifteen years.

He started to pray that on this one occasion, he couldn't be wrong….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester stood shaking, his legs feeling like jelly, his back pressed against the cold, cold wall of the room.

He felt sick, his empty stomach churning frantically; like an overworked muscle about to die.

Dean stood directly opposite Sam's bed. He couldn't see his brother's face thanks to the doctors obstructing his view. Images of Sam however, danced like a slideshow in front of him and every one of them had Sam smiling.

Dean prayed that smile wouldn't haunt him, Dean prayed with every ounce of strength he had.

"Please mom..." Dean whispered, as he watched as a doctor shoved a round of injections of adrenaline into Sam's veins, Dean winced for his brother. "Please don't take him..."

…_..I'll always watch over you..._

Dean swallowed, as Sam's words echoed like a bullet being shattered into his skull.

…_..I'll always watch over you..._

Dean closed his eyes and sank down onto the floor, his forehead resting on his knees. The situation was suddenly unbearable and the elder hunter was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. The essence of his brother's spirit was beginning to over power him, and the reality of losing his brother forever begun to dawn on Dean's crumbling confidence.

Dean then realised that since Sam had flat lined, he'd held his breath.

Suddenly, the sound of the scene taking place in front of him flooded powerfully back into his mind. The void in his panicked brain had switched itself into reverse now, allowing the big brother to see and hear everything in the most vivid techno colour available, apparently surround sound also came with the deal; Dean had to clamp his hands over his ears as his body adjusted to the sudden impact of the noise.

"Another 10cc of adrenaline..." Dr. Kessin demanded to one of the nurses, "Charging to 220…"

The hands moved away as the defibulator paddles were clamped down on Sam's chest, the machine and Sam's body both reacting violently as the volts cursed through Sam's unmoved form. The heart machine continued to wail in the distance.

"Come on Sammy..." Dean whispered from the floor, slowly standing up and walking numbly over, "Come on, Sam..."

"No pulse, no response..." Dr. Kessin reported, as Sam's vital signs were taken again, "Charging to 230..."

Dean closed his eyes, Sam had flat lined almost five minutes ago. Dean knew everything looked bleak.

However, for some reason Dean just wasn't accepting the situation. The elder knew Sam was fighting literally now for life, and yet it just seemed too surreal.

Sam was a hunter, a good one at that. Dean had always expected one of them to eventually lose their lives in the line of duty, fighting the good fight.

Not in some car crash by an idiotic driver who had not seen them coming.

Heroes weren't supposed to die like this.

That's why Dean knew Sam wouldn't die.

His brother was a hero, a reluctant one at that, but a hero none the less. Dean made a vow that once Sam woke up, he'd tell him.

He'd tell him everything that he'd kept hidden for years deep down behind layers upon layers of humour, wise cracks and jibes.

He'd tell Sam that he loved him more than anything. He'd tell Sam that he'd die for him in a heart beat. He'd tell Sam that he needed him more than his little brother would ever be able to comprehend. He'd tell Sam that he was the most important thing in his life. He'd tell Sam that this wasn't his fault.

None of this was Sam's fault.

For this to work, Dean only needed one thing from Sam.

For his little brother to stay alive, and right now Sam wasn't keeping his end of the bargain...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester's hazel eyes scanned the hospital room, the noise was unbearable, and he was on the outside of the room! The father couldn't enter the room; he knew he'd do something horrible to the doctors and nurses in there.

The way they went about hammering, pulling, poking and probing his younger son's body, looked almost inhumane to the father, and while he understood they were trying to save his child, it would have taken a hell of a lot for the father not to go inside and not beat the whole medical team into wallpaper paste.

So instead, distraught, panicked and terrified, the father was left looking into Sam's world from the outside.

A hollow feeling grated at John's heart. He'd always been watching Sam's world from the outside. That's what the father had chosen. Sam was stubborn, head strong and emotional. John couldn't always handle those three Winchester traits in one solid dose, and often that was how Sam was.

John sank lifelessly into a chair, and thought about Sam's spirit coming to him.

A small smile flickered on his face despite the situation. Sam had looked so beautiful. His little boy had looked, safe, warm, and free of pain and desperation. More importantly to John, he'd looked happy.

He could still feel the warm, comforting touch that Sam had left in him. His little boy had always been able to do that, just by his touch alone, even when he'd been nothing but a child, John knew that he had a gentle warm touch. Whenever John returned to his sons slightly battered with visible cuts and bruises, little Sammy would try and copy Dean's movements and drag a heavy first aid kit over to John.

John smiled at the memory, Sam had only been five, and John had shouted at him for trying to move the heavy box. Sam had offered to kiss his daddy's cuts better. John had looked into those hazel eyes and seen that Sam had wanted to help, in his own little way. So, even in complete agony from the bruises, John had lifted Sam onto the chair with him and Sam had given him a kiss on the side of his head. John smiled again, he also remembered Dean walking into the room about five minutes later telling Sam that he'd given dad cooties. Yeah, that had gone down well in that house that night.

And now, Sam was dying. Bobby had been right; he should have stayed with Sam and Dean.

What would be the point fighting to keep his sons safe, if he had no children left to fight for.

John slowly got to his feet and looked back at the scene in the hospital room. John felt angry tears sting his eyes, crying, was something John hadn't done in a very long time. Not since Mary. Not since he'd lost his wife.

John swallowed, the lump in his throat trying to suffocate him.

John was now losing Sam, and as if on cue, the tears slowly begun to stream down the father's face...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean was shaking, his hands frantically on top of his head; he didn't know what to do with his hands. Part of him wanted to pull the medical team away, bring his brother back himself and then kick the living day lights out of Sam, for bringing this nightmare situation on himself.

Dean felt the tears in his eyes. How could he possibly be angry at Sam? Sam had seen that the ones he loved were trapped, in pain, and clearly in danger. The younger Winchester had simply done what anyone in that situation would have done; got help.

Dean knew he'd have done it, if he could have.

"Come on Sam, we don't go out like this..." Dean whispered, "You know that, don't you...?"

Dean watched as the defibulator was reset again, this time the volts were 240, and he knew this was Sam's last chance. His brother had been disconnected from the ventilator for over ten minutes.

Dean swallowed, ……._Sam will have brain damage..._Dean suddenly realised,_………He's had no oxygen to the brain in over ten minutes, his heart hasn't worked in over ten minutes..._

"Oh, god, no..." Dean suddenly gasped out, his own heart bashed violently in his chest.

His brother was slipping away.

"Save him..." Dean begged as he grabbed Dr. Kessin's arm, "Please, please don't let him go..."

"Stand clear..." Dr Kessin said his eyes never leaving Sam, as the probing hands of the medical team were removed from Sam's body.

"Please Sammy, please..." Dean whispered in a chant, his eyes looking up to the ceiling, "Please, I'm begging you, come back, come back..."

Dean watched, his breath held tightly within his lungs, the tears falling from his hazel eyes. The pads to the defibulator were pressed nosily, and clamped to his brother's form causing the body to convulse. It was an image that Dean would never forget, engraved in his head like a nightmare.

Dr David Kessin leaned forward himself and examined Sam, he tried desperately to ignore the quivering, emotionally charged figure that floated like a shadow at his side.

"No response..." The male nurse said. Dean recognised him as one of the nurses that originally had guided him out of the way when Sam had first gone into cardiac arrest.

Dr Kessin sighed, and Dean's shaking become more obvious.

The words were said that Dean never wanted to hear.

"Call it..." Dr Kessin said, as Dean's scream filled the room.

The other nursing staff in the room moved out the way, as Dean collapsed hysterically on top of Sam's lifeless form. Dr Kessin's heart sank as he watched Dean bury his face against Sam's neck, pleading for his brother to wake up.

"Time of death, 4.32 pm..."

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester sank to the floor outside Sam Winchester's room.

He hadn't needed to hear the doctor say anything. Dean's reaction had told the father everything he'd needed to know.

The tears flowed fast, freely as his heart crippled with pain and sorrow heaved unwillingly. His eyes looked up to the heavens above as tears fell from his eyes.

The cycle of evil that was John's Winchester's life had claimed another victim.

His child was dead. His Sammy was gone….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**(hands a tissue to Dean and John) Poor boys…..Please remember to review, and I'll see you all next update xx**


	6. Demons

**Thank you all so much for reading my little ramble of madness. To each and everyone of you who reviewed thank you sooooo much. You guys have no idea the inspiration these reviews offer writers. To those who said I was evil- I got no defence to that; I am evil :o) But I'm hoping you continue to enjoy this journey with the Winchesters and see where they go from here.**

**The site is being incredibly difficult with my work, by not bumping up when updated, which I can assure you is really annoying !**

**Anyway, this chapter is called Demons…..I'm sure I'll let your imaginations now run wild.**

**Pleas remember to review.**

Chapter Six--Demons

" Sammy..." Dean whispered as he sucked in a sob, trying to look through the blindness of his tears, as with shaky fingers, he stroked his brother's face, "Come on, one more time. Come on now, just one more time..."

There was no one else.

No one left.

Dean had lost every single member of his family.

He cradled Sam as tightly as he could and held onto him knowing that he would be taken from him, knowing that this was the last time ever he would ever be able to physically touch or feel his little brother.

He was shaking furiously as tears rained down his face, christening upon Sam's cold, pale lifeless face.

The emptiness.

The hollow grating hole that was consuming Dean sucking him in and spitting him out like a discarded chew toy.

He was just Dean now, no longer a son, no longer a brother. Just a person who had nothing, no one.

Dr. David Kessin's heart went out to the broken man, lying sprawled over his brother's body. Reality always had a tendency to be a bitch in his profession. Dr Kessin, had been a doctor for over twenty five years, he'd lost patients before, had the family locked in the room with him; but for some unknown reason- today had just, felt, different.

"What's that song you heard on the radio..? You've been singing like a canary for the last few weeks...?" Dean suddenly blurted out, his chuckle nervous and racked, with a disillusioned belief that Sam Turner was still asleep. "Come on, we'll sing it now...!"

Dr Kessin swallowed, as he studied Dean's traumatised form, even as a doctor of medicine and not of the mind, he knew it was going to take a heck of a load of therapy to get Dean Turner over this. Dean however struck him as the sort that would rather slit his own wrists with a rusty hacksaw, than ever open up to anyone.

"Hey doc, what do we do about the body..?" A female nurse asked in a hushed tone, as she looked over at her superior. Dr. Kessin cringed at his auxiliary nurse's lack of tact.

"Just leave him alone..." Dr Kessin promptly said, hoping that Dean had not heard the nurse's unsympathetic question. "And leave Dean alone also..."

"How are we supposed to tidy up...?" The nurse asked again, as she looked questionably at Dean Turner, who was singing some weird song to the body of his dead brother.

The nurse swallowed, clearly the patient from another ward had gone into shock, and she didn't fancy having to deal with his emotional outbursts when she tried to tidy up the equipment. She knew an emotional outburst would come from him, from grieving family it always did- call it experience.

"Just do what you can…" Dr. Kessin muttered as he picked up Sam's chart at the end of the bed.

His blue eyes fell to Sam's face which was paler than any human ought to be, and a horrible blue tinge was beginning to form at the edges of Sam's lips. The ventilator having been removed by a different nurse as soon as Sam's time of death had been called, allowing Dean to actually hold Sam without anything in his way.

With the equipment now removed, Sam simply looked like he was sleeping, and Dr. Kessin couldn't help but feel upset.

He'd wanted to save the kid.

Especially for Dean. He'd liked Dean a lot. On hearing about the antics Dean had been causing on the other wing of the hospital, the ICU doctor had pulled some strings, to allow Dean to stay with Sam until his brother was better.

He knew that would have put a smile on the mischievous Dean's face. But he'd never been able to tell him. Sam had just arrested before he'd come to tell him the news.

He rarely ever did what he was about to do, but the doctor said a silent prayer as he placed Sam's notes back at the foot of the deceased's bed.

He prayed that Dean would be able to move on. He prayed that Sam knew how much Dean loved him. He prayed that one day, both boys would be reunited.

He also prayed that the bastard that had killed the twenty-three year old would be captured by police and sent down for a very long time...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester heaved in a ragged breath.

What was the father to do now...? The man knew he had to go to Dean.

He sighed as he stared at his broken elder son.

……_Oh Deanie..._John thought sadly, looking through the window into Sam's room, and seeing Dean still was trying to rouse his brother. That was Dean in a heartbeat; never giving up, even when the odds were stacked against him.

……_.I'm so sorry Dean..._John thought, as he shook his head... _I'm so sorry Sammy..._

John slowly climbed to his feet, his heart still shaking inside his rattling body. His hand touched the handle to Sam's door.

It wasn't meant to be like this, it wasn't. John was supposed to follow up the information he'd gleaned from the demon, and use it to destroy the son-of-a-bitch. Dean and Sam were supposed to stay here, together, and get better. Then, John was going to come back, collect his boys and take them some place safe. That way they could be a family again, all of them, the three of them, could start again as a family.

Yet Sam was dead.

That hadn't been part of John's plans. Losing his son in a car crash hadn't been in the plans. Losing Dean to grief hadn't been in the plan either.

And yet it had happened.

The broken father closed his eyes and prayed for added strength.

It was time to face Dean...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester opened his eyes and stared at the scene in front of him.

He felt weird. Like he was sort of where he was supposed to be, but not exactly there yet.

And yet at the same time, Sam felt nothing; which was odd for Sam, because he always felt something.

The younger Winchester stared at scene in front of him.

Dean could no longer see him.

But he could see Dean.

Sam knew he should be feeling something, anything. Anger for dying, upset that Dean could no longer see him, fear of moving onto somewhere he'd never been. Excited that he would get to finally meet his mother and be reunited with Jessica again.

At least Sam hoped he'd go to heaven. If it existed of course.

"It'll be ok Dean..." Sam said standing less than an inch behind his crying brother, who still hadn't raised his head from Sam's neck. "Don't cry..."

Sam shuddered, geeze that was weird. Seeing himself dead. Sam swallowed, no wonder Dean was crying, he looked bloody awful.

Sam gently put a hand on the back of Dean's head; maybe he'd feel his touch like he had earlier.

He'd been able to do it once, why couldn't he do it again..?

"I didn't mean it..." Dean whispered, looking at Sam's still face, " I didn't mean to yell at you. I won't ever yell again, just wake up, come on Sam. I know they're wrong about you, you're not dead. I know you wouldn't just die. You're a fighter..."

Sam's spirit sighed as he looked at Dean, who was clearly inconsolable, "I know you didn't mean it Dean, its ok..."

Sam sighed as he sat down at the foot of his own bed. He watched the nurses and doctors around him busy themselves with prep work, each of them ignoring Dean's sobs, and desperate conversations.

Watching as Dean sat up on the bed, he could see anger in his brother's eyes, mixed with confusion, sorrow and hurt. Sam desperately wanted to wrap his arms around him, and tell him that everything would be ok. But he couldn't even get Dean to see him anymore, let alone feel his touch.

That made Sam feel something, for the first time since he'd died. He felt sadness. He realised that he couldn't even remember the last time he'd hugged Dean, and it hurt him deeply that he'd never be able to do it again.

Suddenly, Sam's spirit jumped to its feet. He sucked in his breath and held it. He'd felt it, the same way he'd felt it when he'd been alive. It was brief, silent and always very, very quick.

Something was in the room with them.

Something evil...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam's eyes searched the room frantically, this couldn't be happening. Not now for crying out loud. Dean wasn't in any condition at all to defend himself from the supernatural, and as for him, well, he was a spirit for crying out loud, what could he do..?

Sam stood up and begun to look carefully at the nursing staff, and he jumped when he saw a black wisp dancing from behind one of the male nurses. His aura was black.

"Did you think it would be this easy Sam...?" The wisp growled, as it pulled away from the nurse's body.

Sam watched as the nurse fell lifelessly to the floor.

"Who are you...?" Sam demanded, as he watched as Dean's eyes fell in confusion to the unconscious nurse. "What are you doing here...?"

"Coming for you of course..." The black wisp said, his eyes never leaving Sam's as the swarm of black danced evilly in front of a terrified Sam. "Give me what I want..."

Sam held steady, his swirl of white lights moving around him, keeping the evil being from approaching him.

"What is it that a dead spirit has, that you want...?" Sam pushed; holding his ground and wishing Dean could eaves-drop in on the conversation.

"You're not dead Sam..." The demon whispered, as he hovered directly over to Sam, the hand he snaked out abruptly catching Sam straight in the throat and throwing him against the bed side table.

Sam simply drifted straight through it connecting with the wall behind. Sam glanced around confused.

Something wasn't right.

How comes he was phasing through certain objects, but still connecting with others..?

Spirits phased through everything, that was why they were called friggin spirits.

Sam also realised something, pain and blood.

The young hunter looked down at his palm which had sliced straight through the bed side table. A long cut escaped down his palm and red blood flowed through the cut.

Sam stared at it in stunned silence.

The demon knelt down beside him and grinned, pinning Sam by his shoulders against the wall.

"You only die when I get what I want..." The demon hissed, "And I haven't got what I want yet..."

"And what is it that you want...?" Sam demanded, as he shoved the phantom hands off him, and watched as the swarm of black wisp staggered back.

"I want you Sam..." The demon whispered, as Sam swallowed. The eyes. They were yellow.

This was _the_ demon not in its human form. Just as it was; as a demon.

"You'll die when I tell you die..." The demon snarled at Sam, "You'll die watching me kill your brother and father..."

"You keep away from them..." Sam shouted, as he staggered to his feet, "I swear to god if you touch...-"

"Oh really, and what are you and God going to do, eh Sam...?" The demon said, as he watched as Sam ran over to him, his intent to grab him and pin him to the floor.

The demon chuckled to himself, this was going to be fun...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester stared at the nurse that had fallen at his feet.

That was random, too random.

"Sam...?" Dean whispered, looking over at his brother's dead body, his eyes still tear filled, partly blinding his sight. "Sammy what are you up to...?"

Dean watched as the lights in the room suddenly shot out, and violently came back on.

It took a lot to put the fear of God into Dean, but right now the elder hunter was becoming a believer.

He'd just lost Sam; his baby brother had just died.

And now somehow, there seemed to be some sort of supernatural presence in the room.

This was all Dean needed, some kind of pissed off spirit on the war…-

…_..Oh my God, Sam_...Dean suddenly whispered, as the nurses and doctors in the room tried vigorously to regain the lights in the room. Dean however stared rigidly at Sam's body.

The elder hunter jumped to his feet, when he saw the bed side table shift backwards and bang loudly into the wall.

A frightened nurse's scream, pierced Dean's consciousness as he hurried over to the bedside table. In the flickering of the lights, with the sound of the other life support machines flickering with vital signs, and then switching themselves off, Dean was beginning to think he'd gone mad himself.

Staring down onto the floor, the lights repeatedly illuminating and then vanishing he stared at the ground. There was blood on the floor, fresh, red liquid blood.

Dean flew to Sam's body, his hazel green eyes scanning frantically over his younger brother's corpse.

Dean ignored his face, he ignored the sickeningly pale colour that Sam's skin was, he ignored Sam's coldness, and he ignored the dark blue of his brother's lips.

Dean ignored all of it.

Dean Winchester gasped, more in stunned shock than in anything else. Looking down at Sam's leg the sky blue bed sheet was soaked in blood.

Sam's blood.

The lights flickered on and off continuously, the heart and pulse monitor wailed on and off, shooting and bumping into one another.

"What the hell is going on...!" Dr Kessin shouted over the noise as the room was once again plunged into darkness.

Dean never responded.

He was on top of Sam's bed, leaning over his younger brother.

"Talk to me Sam, send me something, anything…" Dean begged as his eyes darted around the room trying in vain, to ignore the looks from the hysterical medical team that remained in the room.

Dean Winchester was barely coping.

He was shaking like a leaf, as he hovered over his brother, the worry that plunged inside of him feeling like a sick twisted joke. Dean knew something bizarre was happening and yet the elder hunter had no idea if it was good or evil.

Dean's hand shakily picked up Sam's hand in his, the older brother stared at the blood that streamed from his brother's hand. Dean tightly held onto it.

"Hang on in there Sam…" Dean whispered, placing his face against Sam's "Hang on in there…"

Dean looked around the room; he couldn't help but notice that Dr. David Kessin hadn't removed his eyes from Dean. The good doctor had seen Sam's bleeding palm.

The doctor's eyes locked with Dean's, the light in the room randomly snapping on and off.

"He's bleeding…" Dr Kessin said in a breathless tone, "How is that possible..?"

Dean swallowed as he averted his eyes back to Sam's still face.

Truth was, Dean had no idea how it was possible…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester grabbed the door handle to Sam Winchester's room, and leaned back on it frantically in a desperate attempt to open it. John found himself gasping through lack of breath at the force, he'd used to try and open the door, and yet the door refused to budge.

Instead the father was left outside staring into the room, relying on the lights that flickered every so often to offer the desperate man some assistance.

John was a hunter and a father, and sometimes the two positions in his life often got blurred and the wrong one became the priority; but right now both of them were screaming warning bells in the man's head.

Something supernatural was happening in Sam's room, and perhaps more importantly, his sons were both on the other side of the door, trapped.

John grabbed the chair he'd earlier been sitting on, and ignoring the alarmed looks the other nurses gave him, swung the chair towards the window.

John looked stunned, when the only effect the chair had on the situation was to cause a painful vibration up the older man's arm. John slammed the chair continuously into the glass window, and each time he was greeted with same reaction. Nothing.

John banged furiously on the window, the chair falling aimlessly to the floor. He cursed under his breath that he had not bought his gun with him, on to how he would explain it to the hospital staff he'd have liked to have known, but the older man was still allowed to chastise himself.

His palms placed flat against the window the older hunter could only watch Dean still hovering over Sam's body completely oblivious to what was taking place.

John squeezed his eyes shut. The older hunter was anything was a coward, but he couldn't watch another child. He couldn't watch Dean die also.

Parents were supposed to die before their kids; it was just the way it was meant to be.

It rarely happened of course, John was well aware of that, but still that was how it was meant to be in a perfect fairy style world.

Yet here was life doing the complete opposite. The father had watched his Sammy lose his fight for life, and now he was going to have to watch whatever was trapped inside that room with a grief-stricken Dean, kill his last remaining son.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester charged at the demon, he had no idea what he would achieve by doing this, but he had to try something. He couldn't let this thing harm Dean, not while he was still around- although exactly _how_ Sam was still around baffled the younger hunter.

With seething anger, Sam ploughed into the wispy form, and found himself tumbling straight through, crashing landing into the wall. The demon was on him in seconds, his slithers of black wrapping themselves tightly around Sam's neck.

"I'm gonna kill him…" The demon growled, causing the hair on Sam's neck to stand up on end. "I'm going to kill him so slowly, and it'll all be your fault…"

Sam struggled against the wispy from, unsure to how he was going to get out of the situation, considering he couldn't hold onto any part of the phasing demon.

The demon's hold around his neck became tighter and tighter. Sam could feel the air in his lungs being squeezed out, the blood being pushed to his brain. Sam's head was threatening to explode.

"Dean's the key…" The demon whispered in Sam's ear, "Dean's the key to you…"

Sam couldn't understand what was happening.

How many times in an hour could one person die…?

Sam could hear chanting, words being spoken in a tongue he couldn't understand. The blood from his air-strangled body filled his ears, and everything faded to black.

Sam had no idea what was going to happen next.

But he knew it wasn't anything good…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester jumped when the lights on the room nosily snapped on; the machines that had been dancing a psychotic dance around the terrified nursing staff came to a halt in there desired resting places.

Dean slowly surveyed the mess in the room. It was pretty clear that something had taken place. Just what the elder Winchester didn't know.

There was a gasp, a struggle for air and a wheezing cough that caused Dean to freeze.

Shaking violently, to the point where his body seem to lose control, Dean felt hysteria take hold of him. The tears streamed down his face, the screams of happiness and sobs of thanks that escaped the elder brother's mouth were like lyrics of his favourite song.

Dean Winchester was a brother again.

Sam was awake.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Lucky Dean..? Unlucky Sammy…? You decide……Thanks for reading and please remember to review. See you all next update xxx**


	7. Silent Goodbyes

**Sorry for the delay in updating, having problems with the site and the file I saved this story on.**

**Thanks to all those that sent me a review, it's always appreciated as you know.**

**Thanks for reading and sticking by this story. I know it lacks in action and it's a bit angsty but there is a reason to it, I'm building up to the story that is following this one.**

**Please remember to review. It's all a girl has to keep her going :o)**

Chapter 7- Silent Goodbyes

"Thank you…" Dean whispered, burying his head against Sam's chest, as he felt a heavy, tired hand touch the back of his head. "Thank-you, thank-you…."

"Hi..." Sam whispered, in a voice so small, that Dean had to take a deep breath in and hold it, to stem the sobs of uncontrollable happiness that threatened to break out again. Dean looked at Sam; he could barely believe his eyes.

Sam still looked terrible, but Dean didn't care. He could fix the way Sam looked. He could fix anything; do anything now he had Sam back. Dean reached up shakily and stroked the hair off his brother's forehead. He felt Sam's tired hand brush his cheek.

"You're... hurt…" Sam mumbled, in a tired voice, his heavy eyes feeling like bricks were on the tips pulling them closed.

"Me..?" Dean said, spluttering with a laugh and a sob, "Dude, I'm fine…"

"Are you sure…….. you're…..ok….?" Sam whispered, as he could feel sleep pulling him into that warm safe land again.

Dean frantically and quite roughly played with Sam's hair to keep him awake, the idea of losing Sam to anything, even if it was sleep didn't bare thinking about.

"Sammy…?" Dean whispered, gently taking Sam's bloody hand in his, and holding it tightly, "I've missed you so much…"

"Me…..too….." Sam said, feeling his eyes close, "Night…."

"Stay, just a little longer, come on Sammy, just a couple more minutes…" Dean begged, "You've been sleeping for days on end here little man, I need some human company other than your snoring…"

"I don't…….snore….." Sam said, his voice laboured and filled with sleep, "I'm…..so…..tired…."

Dean felt tears welling up in his eyes again, as he watched as Sam's hand went slack in his for the second time in the last few days. Dean knew he was asleep, but the elder hunter realised that it would be a very long time, before he would ever let Sam fall asleep without him waking the younger boy up just to check to see if he was alive.

After all, Dean knew what death looked like, and as much as he believed in the supernatural, there were just something's that didn't make sense. This was one of them. But Dean didn't care about the how or the why Sam had been given back to him; all Dean knew was that he'd never do anything to lose Sam again. Ever.

It was then, that Dean felt the strange stillness in the room.

Dean swallowed, and remembered the medical staffs that were still inside the room.

Dean remembered Dr. Kessin was still in the room.

Slowly Dean turned and found the good doctor staring in a stunned, Polaroid kind of way.

"It's a miracle…" Dean whispered, to the doctor, not really knowing what else to say. Even his fast, wise cracking mouth couldn't find a plausible enough line to give to the situation that had just taken place.

"Dean…" Dr. Kessin finally stammered out, " We're gonna take Sam down for some tests, just to make sure that everything is still in working order…"

"Fine..." Dean said, relieved that the doctor had strangely bought the whole miracle storyline, "I'll come with you…"

"You wait here…" Dr. Kessin said, his eyes never ever leaving the sleeping Sam.

"No…." Dean said bluntly, his stubborn big brother attitude, quickly taking president over the emotionally ragged one.

"It's a restricted area, Dean…" Dr. Kessin said as he nodded for two nurses to start the proceedings.

"Then I suggest you unrestrict it…" Dean said, with a point in his tone. He slowly stood from Sam's bed, blocking the nurse's path to Sam "He's not going anywhere, not without me…"

"Dean, I can appreciate that you're confused…" Dr. Kessin said in a gentle tone.

"Don't patronise me…!" Dean snapped, "You're not taking my brother anywhere, not now, not ever…"

"Your brother has been dead for over forty-five minutes…" Dr Kessin spat, his own emotions at the confusing situation quickly gathering to the surface, "He's had no oxygen to the brain within that time. Sam could have brain damage…"

"He doesn't…" Dean barked, as he folded his arms across his chest, feeling his own stitches pull in the movement.

"We have to be sure, we have to run tests.." Dr Kessin said trying to regain his composure, "I can't explain what just happened and I need to know what did happen…"

"Sam, is not one of your lab rats…" Dean bitterly barked, "Now just leave him alone, your precious tests can at least wait until tomorrow…"

"Dee….." Came Sam's tried voice from the bed.

Dean was back by his brother's side before Sam had even finished speaking. Dean watched his brother force his tired hazel eyes open and look at Dean. Dean felt nothing but immense pride for Sam's strength and resilience.

"Hi Sammy…" Dean said with a grin, "Too much noise in here..?" Dean asked as he shot the good Dr. Kessin an annoyed look.

"What…..is….going….on..?" Sam asked his voice tired and laboured.

"We need to run some tests on you Sam…" Dr Kessin said before Dean could interject, "You've been away in dreamland for a little while; we just want to make sure everything is working ok…"

Dr Kessin saw the glazed look in Sam's tired eyes.

"I'm Dr. Kessin; I've been your doctor since you were admitted in…" Dr Kessin explained, "It won't take too long, I promise. We just need to make sure you're ok..."

"I already told you no…" Dean muttered, to the doctor, as he lowered his head down next to Sam's. "Don't worry ok; I won't let them come near you…"

"It's….ok…" Sam said with a sleep filled voice, "You… should….get….some….tests…. done …Dean…"

Dean gave Sam a worried look; it was clearly obvious that Sam had misunderstood what Dr. Kessin had told him.

"Sammy, it's not me who needs the tests, it's you…" Dean explained as he noticed Sam's glazed look in his eyes.

Reluctantly, Dean turned to the doctor.

"Can't the tests wait until later, what's the difference if he has them in a few hours..?" Dean asked with a shrug, "The kids been through a lot, I don't think poking him and taking pictures with a big old camera are going to help him…"

"If there is a problem with Sam, delaying treatment could only makes things worse for him…" Dr Kessin said now standing my Sam's bed, "Sam, we're going to take you down now, ok..?"

Sam nodded sleepily, as the nurses walked around the still stubborn Dean and snapped the brakes off Sam's bed.

"Sam, tell them no…" Dean begged as he stood over his brother, "You can't go, you can't leave…."

Sam looked into Dean's hazel eyes, and managed a tired smile, his hand moving near Dean's face which was once again on his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere…"Sam said with a sigh, his eyelids taking him back to the world of darkness. " I'm not ever going anywhere, Dee…"

Reluctantly, Dean tenderly reached down and kissed Sam on the forehead. The elder brother waited for a smart assed remark from Sam, the situation would have normally called for one; but this was no normal situation. Dean was beginning to realise that.

Dean watched as the bed was taken away from the room. He felt his body collapse in a heap back into the maternity chair that had brought up to him the night before. He hadn't realised exactly how exhausted he really was. He also had begun to realise how confused he actually was.

Dean looked at the clock in the room, it was almost 6pm. In the space of just over an hour, Dean 'Turner' Winchester had experienced the two most draining emotions known to man.

Grief and illation.

His little brother was dead. His Sam had been dead. And now he was alive..?

That didn't make any sense. At least not to Dean. Dean knew that once dead, you stayed dead, at least that was what he'd been thought.

Dean closed his eyes and heaved in a sigh; this whole situation just didn't make sense. Sam coming to him as a spirit, an angel as it might be, telling him his final thoughts and saying goodbye. That had been pretty final. That had been Sam's swan song to say the least. The final goodbye.

And yet Sammy was now in a different part of the hospital getting his head examined and Dean found himself alone. Again. The thought was strangling Dean. If Sam had stayed dead, if he had, Dean had no idea what he would have done, how he would have coped.

That forty-five minutes his brother had been dead; Dean shuddered from his core. It was the most gut wrenching horrendous feeling Dean had ever experienced. He needed Sam, more than ever. He need his brother's strength and open mindedness, he needed Sam's stubborn single minded attitude.

The elder hunter also needed his father. He needed his father right now, more than he could express. It ached him inside to know that his father wasn't here, to know that their father hadn't even been here when his child had died.

Now Sam was alive, and in time with Dean's help will be back to his normal, little brother self, and their father would never know that his youngest son had been dead for over forty minutes. The emptiness that filled Dean's stomach made him want to hurl.

Dean sucked in a breath, man he already missed Sam. Even if he was unconscious, he was still here with him, giving Dean the reassurance that he wasn't as useless as he felt.

That Dean was needed by someone, anyone, even if that person was Sam.

Dean could feel sleep pulling at him, the drain of the day inviting him back to the folds of comforting darkness. He'd take a little nap and await the arrival of Sam…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester stood rigid on the spot. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened, nor did he want to. Sam was alive. That was all that mattered.

However, the elder Winchester wasn't stupid. He'd been a hunter too long, and was too good at it to be stupid enough to assume that a miracle had taken place.

He'd seen that room, and within seconds the elder hunter had known what had taken place.

Sam had been sent back.

Not by good. Good would have allowed his son to go straight to the angels.

Sam was sent back down cruelly by evil.

This meant that evil had to have a reason, and a damn good one at that. A demon with that much power to send a good angel back to its body, to bring the dead back to life; that, took power.

John found his feet moving, his eyes tearing away from his boys in the room together, safe and in one piece. He had to get moving, he had to get his boys safe. He knew whatever had sent Sam back to them, would come again for his child, perhaps both of them.

John knew what he had to do. It broke his heart having to leave his crumpled eldest son in that horrible room all alone, but he was doing the right thing.

He could handle Dean and Sam hating him. That he could handle, it may take them a very long time to forgive him, but he could work on the whole forgiveness thing later. At least his children would be alive. He couldn't work on that part of their relationship if his kids were six feet under.

John closed his eyes and pushed open the hospital door. He stood in the parking lot of the hospital. He sucked in his breath, and started to walk.

He prayed that his kids would understand.

He hoped that they would know why he was doing it. He hated not being able to see Sam, to tell his son that none of this was Sam's fault. He hated not being able to tell Dean that everything the demon had told him was a load of bull shit. Dean was needed, Dean was loved.

Dean was the glue of this family. Without him, there would be no Winchester's.

John knew he should tell Dean, but he couldn't, not yet. But he would. He'd make sure he'd tell both kids exactly how he felt when they were reunited. He'd give them both everything they'd always dreamed about. He'd give Dean, his precious, older faithful son; the one who took over the role as the family man in the Winchester household, he'd give his Dean the one thing Dean had craved the most- his family.

He'd find them a home, somewhere where they could be together, just the three of them. Somewhere where they could live together and be a family and do what families usually do, like have dinner together, argue about what to watch on television, share family occasions together. A place where Dean would feel safe and secure, a place where Dean could watch over Sam and John, the two most precious people in his eldest son's life.

Dean would have it all. John would make sure of that.

John also knew he had to give Sam what he craved more than anything- a normal life.

The idea of Sam having his normal life still seemed bizarre to John. After all, Sam was gifted, was special- what normal life could he possibly lead that wouldn't walk him straight back down the path of the supernatural again..?

John wasn't sure, but he was sure in hell going to try and give Sam the chance to go back to college, a chance for Sam to be able to make a choice by himself and for once, John to play the supportive father.

The father knew something though; he knew that Sam wouldn't leave Dean. Not now. Not after everything they'd been through. So John knew that where ever he got this family a home, it would have to be near a decent college.

John sighed inwardly. Those ideas would be put into motion soon enough. He knew the balance between normal life and the supernatural could be achieved. After all, he knew of a family similar to his own who were doing it right now.

It was time John paid that family a visit. John needed their help.

Silently, the elder father glanced back at the hospital, desperately wanting to go back inside and be by the side of his sons. They were stronger as family. He knew that, they knew that, and yet it just couldn't work; for now.

John had realised that while stronger as family, they were also weaker together. There blind loyalty to each other, their love for one another, it clouded their judgment and made them all vulnerable. John included.

So it would have to be like this, no sad goodbyes, no see you laters, no take care of yourselves boys, no I love you both so much it's killing me to leave you both.

It was a silent goodbye, muttered in the heart of the father that kept walking away from the hospital.

John knew that this would be the final time that he'd ever do it. The next time he saw his sons they'd be reunited, together, always. That would be the time for the next chapter of their lives to restart. The Winchester men together, father and sons, sons and their father.

A smile mustered on the older man's face.

…_Take care my boys..._

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester watched the younger man sleep. His stomach knotted itself as he fought the urge to climb out of the chair and go and sit next to Sam on the bed. Dean knew if he did, he'd wake the boy up.

The test results had come back clear; Dean hadn't been surprised, he'd already told the doctor that Sam wouldn't have brain damage. Dr. Kessin had clearly been rattled by Sam's 'miracle' recovery and Dr. Wallis had been a little too enthusiastic for Dean's liking.

It made Dean uneasy that the doctors were uneasy.

If Dean had had his own way, he's demand that Sam be discharged and he'd take him somewhere far away from the hospital and look after him himself. But having been told by two different doctors the state of Sam's true condition, Dean had found himself reluctantly relying on the doctors to help Sam.

It made him feel even more useless and if it's one thing that Dean Winchester hated was sitting around feeling useless.

And if it was one thing Dean hated more than feeling useless, was feeling helpless.

Sam would need several months to get over the operation. Haemorrhages were nasty business, especially if removed from the brain. Headaches were to be taken incredibly seriously for the next few years.

Dean swallowed as he considered that thought, what about Sam's visions..? They always caused blinding; mind shattering pain for his younger brother...what kind of effect would the operation have on him now. Could Sam's visions actually kill him..?

The thought didn't bare thinking about for Dean.

Bumps to the head could cause a relapse, and send his brother back into a comatose state. Bumps to the head were a regular business in their line of work, along with mighty blood loss, lacerations to the body and any other painful commodity that evil could dream up.

Dean would be ok, he'd have the stitches removed in about a week, and he'd been warned about taking it easy and the pointed remark of fatigue. If truth be told, Dean would rather have his eyes gouged out by a local crow than take things easy, however the real truth about the damage inflicted on Dean was more emotional than physical.

What he'd seen today, what Dean had experienced today had scarred him for life.

Dean knew that eventually Sam would be strong again, stubborn again, and want his own life again. Dean was willing to give him anything; except the last one.

Dean was never letting Sam out of his sight, and if either of them was going to become angels and walk round scaring the crap out of the other, Dean had already decided by proxy vote that he'd be the one to go.

Dean could never go through that again, he wouldn't.

He'd take his own life, sacrifice his own life than feel that enormous, filthy lonely hole that had embedded itself in his body the second Sam had died.

Dean stared wistfully at Sam who slept peacefully in the bed.

Sam wouldn't agree with what Dean was thinking.

…_..Then again, when did Sam ever agree with anything anyone ever told him..? _Dean thought with a playful smile.

Sam would argue that Dean was stronger than him, more powerful than him, had a bigger lust for life and a more urgent 'get up and go' kind of attitude that Sam did not possess.

But Dean needed Sam, much more than Sam needed Dean. It was a fact. One that Dean didn't like. One that Dean would never admit too. One that Dean knew was true.

Sam was all Dean had now, his father wouldn't ever enter Dean's tortured mind again. Dean would make sure of that.

As the elder brother studied his sibling, a thought dawned on Dean's mind. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to Sam.

After all, how do you start a conversation which would result in you explaining that your God forsaken father had just bailed on you, not caring whether you lived or died.

Dean knew he was going to have to think of something to tell his younger brother, after all Sam would want to know where he was, and Dean sure as hell wasn't going to tell Sammy the truth. His brother needed to be peaceful and stress free, the information Dean had regarding their father was anything but stress free.

Dean shuddered at the horrid thought. Did John Winchester really care that little about his sons...? Dean would have bet everything he owned that the answer to his own question would be, of course not, dad loves us.

But actions spoke louder than words, and John Winchester wasn't here.

That left a sickening hole in the pit of Dean's stomach.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Humm, think John did the right thing..? Do you think Dean should tell Sam the truth..? Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review :o) See you all next update xxx**


	8. Little White Lies

**Well here we are again for a new update. I can't believe how quickly this story is flying out the door. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, I enjoyed reading and responding to every single one of you (well those who signed in); it's just intriguing seeing what you guys think. We're on chapter eight already, so we're more than half way through now. Thanks again for sticking by this little ramble of madness and I hope you continue to enjoy my little ride into the world of the Winchester's. The only thing I ever and always asks for is feedback, so please remember to review :o)**

**On with 'Little White Lies'….**

Chapter 8- Little White Lies

(Eleven nights ago)

Sam Winchester slowly opened his eyes. He instantly felt them flicker close.

Nothing in those few moments of consciousness, had allowed for his brain to adjust to the visual he had seen.

He could taste something strange, yet he knew he'd tasted it before. It tasted bitter, coppery.

Blood.

Sam forced his eyes open again.

The pain, man did everything hurt. He slowly raised his head and felt his brain shift ever so slightly in his head. That, to Sam wasn't normal. Neither was the fact that he still was fighting to stay awake.

……_..What happened..?..._Sam wondered to himself as finally got his head upright, trying bravely to ignore the protests his aching body screamed out to him.

Then Sam remembered in a heartbeat.

The cabin. The demon. Dad shot. Dean in the back, dying from blood lost.

And then nothing….

Nothing but some annoying country music that continued to make his ears bleed from the sound.

Sam's eyes flew open; any pain he had been feeling vanished instantaneously from his body. His eyes turned and looked down at his chest

…_..Why is my chest hurting so much…?..._Sam wondered in to himself.

Ignoring his own problem, he turned to the person he knew had been on his right, arguing with him about the whole demonic situation. Only in the twisted Winchester family could a father get away at yelling at his son for not killing him.

Sam's eyes fell on his unconscious father. He prayed to God, the latter hadn't come true now.

"Dad…" Sam crocked out as his voice, tight and constricted as he shakily, through bruised and bloody fingers reached forward and ignoring the wave of horrendous nausea that sifted through his entire being, lent forward and searched for a pulse on his father. The younger hunter breathed a sigh of relief when he felt a familiar throbbing in his father's neck. However, the youngest child couldn't help but notice that the pattern was irregular.

Sam closed his eyes and finally, he called for his brother, scared that the only response he would receive would be silence.

"Dean…?" Sam called in a hoarse voice, as he tried desperately to turn in his seat. He couldn't move without sending more pain around his body, and oh, the pain in Sam's chest, the strange throbbing ugly sensation that bounced around every time he move his ached ridden body. Every time he pulled a breath through his ragged beaten lungs, the pain roamed freely.

However, Sam ignored it. Dean still had not answered him.

Without any consideration for the normal procedure of 'not moving' after a car crash, Sam pulled his long frame as best as he could into the confides of the twisted Impala.

He wasn't sure what left his mouth, a scream or swear words that Dean would be proud of, but something incoherently fell out as panic devoured him hungrily.

"Dean..?" Sam whispered, his own pain and agony forgotten, "Dean, Deanie, come on..?"

Sam said trying to upright Dean who was slumped against the passenger door. No movement, no wise ass remarks, no breathing, no smart mouth come backs; only an erratic pulse that was quickly growing weaker.

Sam felt the panic beginning to cave inside of him. He heard his father moan. A gurgling sound that crumbled into Sam's breaking mind. His father was drowning in his own blood.

And Dean; Dean was dying.

Sam pulled Dean onto him. Holding his elder brother, ignoring all the pain Sam felt, he gently titled Dean's face up to look at him.

"You hold on Dean…" Sam whispered feeling tears already welling up inside, "I promise you, I'll fix this somehow…"

Gently searching Dean's body, he found his brother's cell phone and flipped it open. He could feel his shirt against his body becoming more wet. Sam knew it was blood, worse, he knew it wasn't his.

Groaning, Sam stared at the cell reception on Dean's phone which was practically non-existent. Sam knew he'd have to get out the car and at least walk a little while to try and get some sort of cell reception. Sam stared suspiciously at Dean's phone; it seemed odd that there was no reception inside the car.

There was always reception inside of the car.

Sam could feel his body was shaking. That swiftly brought new panic to the youngest hunter. Sam knew his body was beginning to shut down.

……_Oh please don't send me to sleep yet; please don't let me give up. I need to get help; I need to save my family…This is all my fault, so many people have perished because of me, so many people I love. Please God, please, don't add them to this list, I beg you to spare them…._

Sam could feel the tears beginning to fall from his eyes; he stared at Dean who now lay awkwardly in his lap. He reached down, his body violently reacting to the message Sam was giving it, but yet he struggled against it and pulled Dean up against him.

"I'm gonna try and get help…" Sam whispered in Dean's ear, trying desperately to ignore the blood on his brother's face.

Gingerly Sam's smoothed his brother's hair and felt a chocked sob escape his lips when Dean never moaned or flinched throughout the ordeal.

"You hang on in there…" Sam whispered to him, "I need you Dean ok..? That bastard was lying, he lied about everything. He was just pushing buttons. Dad needs you and I need you, this family needs you more than you'll know Deanie…"

"I'm never going anywhere Dean..." Sam said whispering the heartfelt; tear jerking promise into his brother's ear, "I'm never going anywhere..."

Shaking violently now, Sam gently placed Dean down and looked into his brother's face. Sam prayed he'd seem him wake again, back to his cocky, good hearted self.

Reaching over Dean, Sam managed after a lot of struggling with his blood slick fingers and the heaviness of the Impala passenger door, Sam finally managed to open it. Slipping over his unconscious Dean, Sam fell heavily into the road. His legs refused to stand, even now knowing how desperate he was to get help, his frigging, piss taking legs refused to stand up.

Grabbing hold of the door, Sam forced himself into a standing position. He was going to get help whether his legs wanted him to or not.

He would save Dean and his father.

Slowly, Sam pulled himself upright, leaning heavily on his brother's beloved Impala. Sam stood steady for a couple of seconds allowing the rush of dizziness to pass first. The younger hunter opened his eyes again and surveyed the damage to the car. It wasn't a total wreak. Fair enough, he wasn't Dean, and he didn't understand every aspect of the car, but he had his common scene and good judgement, and his brain told him that the car could be saved.

……_But first things first Sam...Save family and then save family car..._

Swallowing deeply, finding it increasingly hard to breath, he found the pain in his chest had begun to tighten. Sam knew something was wrong with him; he'd take an educated guess that maybe he'd broken a couple of ribs and they'd pierced his lung or something. Something annoyingly painful but fixable. After all, if he was in seriously bad shape, he'd have lost all consciousness by now and most likely the will to live.

The will to live. That had new meaning to Sam now.

Sam wasn't going to think about the demon. Not now, not while this was happening. It didn't take a half battered genius to know that the demon had been behind the crash, the question Sam was willing to figure out later, would be which demon had caused the crash..?

One foot in front of the other, one stumbled step after another, Sam stared at Dean's cell waiting for a bar to light up on his brother's phone. Nearly ten meters away, the bar finally lit and Sam shakily dialled the emergency number.

"Which emergency service do you require...?" Came a steady tone on the phone. It was female, older and to Sam sounded experienced.

"Ambulance..." Sam breathed, " Car crash...my...family..."

_...Hang on, what's wrong with me, I can't talk...Out of all times to lose my friggin voice, now..? Come on Sam, pull yourself together..._

"Were you in the crash...?" The operator asked. Sam could hear her clicking away on the keyboard.

"Yes..." Sam said in a drained voice, "They're... badly...hurt..."

"Alright son, can you tell me where you are...?" The operator asked, "Son, ok tell me your name...?"

"Sam..." Sam said feeling himself swaying as the phone slowly slid from his hands crashing noisily to the floor.

"Ok Sam, we're tracing the call..." The operator explained, " You just keep this line open ok son...?"

"Sam...?" The operator called, "SAM..!"

Sam Winchester lay in the middle of the road; his eyes were open and in his line of vision stood the twisted metal shape of the Impala. Directly behind it, crushing the side of his brother's beloved car, sat the abandoned semi.

_...How come I've only just noticed that...?_ Sam wondered to himself as he lay there staring at Impala.

His hazel eyes were beginning to close.

He hoped that Dean and his father were going to be alright, he'd done everything he could. He could hear the wail of the ambulance in the distance.

Good, his family would be ok.

His eyes fluttered close, his body, heavy as lead as the pain he finally noticed in the back of his head threatened to explode and say its unwelcome hello.

Sam felt himself disappear into the darkness. His final thought resting on his dying brother.

_...Don't leave me Dean..._

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester slowly opened one of the eyes and peered through it, the sight he saw made a smile creep onto his face.

"Hi..." Sam whispered in a drained and tired tone. His eyes however were brighter, more alert. Dean noticed these subtle changes instantly and felt the relief wash over him.

Sitting up from the maternity chair he'd been sleeping in, he yawned noisily and grinned at Sam.

"How long have you been watching me sleep...?" Dean said with a wicked smile, "You know, in some countries they would lock people like you up..."

Dean watched and waited, that little wise crack was worth at least a chuckle, ok, maybe chuckle was pushing it, but a smile. Yeah, come on Sam, it was at least smile worthy.

No chuckle came from Sam, not even the smile.

Dean eased himself out of the chair, and came and sat beside his brother.

This was odd, for the first time in days, Dean felt awkward.

At least when Sam was unconscious he knew what to do, now awake, Dean had to admit, he had no idea what to do or more importantly to say.

"How long you been awake..?" Dean asked in a softer tone, his brain frantically trying to decode the expression on Sam's face.

"Not long, an hour or so..." Sam admitted as he stifled a yawn inwardly. His head nestled in the pillows, and lying at a forty-five degree angle just seemed to be hitting all the right notes for Sam.

"Why didn't you wake me..?" Dean said giving him a gently poke with his finger, against Sam's arm.

"You were tired..." Sam said with a sigh, "You could do with the sleep..."

"I'm fine..." Dean quickly said, the automatic response simply slipping out.

Well it beat the heck out of the truth; the truth right now was too messy.

"You look like hell Dean..." Sam said in a small voice, as he watched Dean suddenly get off the bed a little too abruptly for Sam's liking.

"I told you already that I was fine..." Dean retorted sharply, "You don't exactly look great yourself..."

Dean stood awkwardly by the window staring out at nothing in particular. Dean could feel his stomach churning wildly, he knew they were coming.

He knew the questions were coming.

"Dee…?" Sam said in a tried note, as he forced his sleepy eyes to look over at Dean. He squinted at the sunlight. "Come here, would you..?"

Dean turned and looked awkwardly over at Sam,

"Why..?" Dean said with a forced grin, trying to allow for humour to cover up the fear that rocked around his body.

"Do I need to have a reason..?" Sam said managing a smile, which seemed to draw Dean subconsciously towards him.

"Hell yeah, people might start talking with the amount of time we're spending together…" Dean kidded as he sat down at the end of bed. "Got some real cute nurses in here Sam, don't want them thinking I'm batting for the other side now.."

"Oh yeah and that hospital sweater brings out all your best features you jack ass…" Sam muttered.

Dean stared at Sam from the end of the bed; he noticed that Sam had now turned his face away from him. The elder brother sighed.

How could he be screwing this up so badly.

Dean had begged, pleaded, would have given his soul to bring his little brother back; and yet here he was pissing him off.

So much for Dean's master plan of telling Sam everything he had always wanted him to know. It had all been so much easier in theory and always twice as hard to execute.

Dean wasn't into chick-flick moments, but he wasn't into seeing Sam upset either.

"Sammy…" Dean said now coming to sit beside Sam, his hand gently touching his brother's face and turning it to look at him. He could see tears shinning vividly in Sam's eyes.

"Hey, hey hey little man…" Dean said sweeping the hair gently off Sam's forehead, "None of this tears business, we don't go for stuff like that…"

"Just go away Dean…" Sam muttered pushing Dean's hand. Dean tried his best not to laugh at the strength Sam has used to push him away with; a day old kitten would have put up better resistance.

"I don't do going away…" Dean said rather simply, "I do many things but leaving you isn't one of them. So you're stuck with me…"

Sam stayed silent, but finally turned and looked at Dean.

"Why is this a big joke to you..?" Sam finally said quite heatedly, the rise in his voice caused a momentarily pain to shiver through his head. "Every single friggin time you have opened your mouth this morning, bull shit seems to come out…"

Dean eyed his younger brother a little surprised.

"That's a bit harsh isn't it..?" Dean said clearly surprised, but once again felt a wise crack slipping out, "I prefer to think of it as creativity run a mock…"

"Piss off…." Sam muttered as he sank further into the pillows.

"Ah, Sammy come on…" Dean said with a sigh, "I'm only throwing this entertainment your way to keep you awake…"

"I was awake before you.." Sam pointed out, as he felt his eyes closing off.

"Sam..?" Dean said watching his brother slip into the unconscious world, "Hey, wake up…!" Dean demanded trying desperately to hide the panic that wafted inside of him.

"I just feel so weird…" Sam mumbled as he never opened his eyes. "Like my head isn't on my shoulders…"

"That's probably because it's balancing on that toothpick you call a neck..." Dean kidded and instantly groaned.

One of these days he was going to have to wire his mouth shut.

"If I had the strength, I'd knock you out…" Sam said with a half baked smile, "Now go and find dad, he must have got himself lost, or destroying the coffee machine with a shot gun..."

"Huh..?" Dean blurted out obviously not expecting the casual name drop in the conversation.

"You know what dad is like with technology, the man almost burnt our house down by using a toaster…" Sam said a small smile mustering on his face his eyes flickering open every so often.

Sam finally forced himself to stare at Dean, his eyes now never leaving his brother's face.

"Is dad getting breakfast..?" Sam asked slowly as he studied Dean for a reaction.

Dean Winchester wore the best blank look he could muster up on such short notice. However the reaction he received from his little brother was unexpected.

"Thought so..." Sam said in a voice so small, Dean almost missed his response.

"What..?" Dean finally asked, almost afraid to where the conversation was going to go.

"He's dead isn't he...?" Sam said trying hard to fight the tears that had been sitting in his eyes since he woke up.

"Dead..?" Dean chocked out looking completely confused at Sam.

"I could see it in your eyes Dean, its ok..." Sam said as the tears started to roll out of his eyes, as he turned his head away from his elder brother.

"See what in my eyes..?" Dean demanded, "Sammy...?"

"I killed him..." Sam whispered as he closed his eyes, "The crash, I didn't get there in time. Oh God..."

Dean swallowed and closed his own eyes, glad that Sam couldn't see him at the moment.

_...Forgive me for what I'm about to do..._

"Sammy..." Dean said sitting closer to his inconsolable little brother, "Dad's fine..."

"Don't lie to me Dean..." Sam whispered as he turned and looked at his brother, "I've been awake for ages waiting and watching to see if he'll come in here; and he hasn't..."

"And you automatically assume that he's dead..?" Dean said with a forced chuckle.

His reaction had to be perfect, his face in a believable expression for his Sam to read.

Sam had to believe what he was going to tell him, and for Sam to believe it, Dean was going to have to deliver a performance worthy of an Oscar. Dean had no intentions of failing this time.

"But I..." Sam said his face clearly flustered and confused, "Dean I saw that look in your eyes, you were scared...!"

"It was probably a look of me realising that I need coffee..." Dean kidded with a believable smile, "Lots and lots of caffeine..."

"So dad, he's fine...?" Sam asked now visibly confused, "I don't get any of this at all..."

"It's ok Sammy, you've always been the slower one in the family…" Dean teased with a forced smile, " Just because you got your ass in college don't mean you're some child genius...!"

"You know I really do hate you sometimes..." Sam muttered as the tiredness of his body once again plagued him.

"Ah you love me really..." Dean said giving Sam his most winning smile. "Everyone does..."

Sam gave his brother a suspicious look, "So where is dad then...?"

Dean sucked in his breath, everything would be fine. Totally fine. It was just a little white lie.

A little white lie for Sam's benefit.

Sammy had to get better. No stress the doctor said.

Explaining to Sam that John Winchester had taken off God knows where, with God knows who; to Dean, that warranted stress.

Sammy would have no stress. Not as long as Dean was there to take care of him.

So if a little lie to protect Sam was what was needed, then Dean was willing to do it.

Besides, white lies were ok.

"Dean...?" Sam asked again, "Where's dad..?"

"He's probably catching some sleep at the motel he's renting..." Dean said forcing his most gentle and comforting smile at Sam.

_...Please believe me Sammy..._

"I sent him back yesterday, he's been watching over us like an over protective bear...!" Dean said with a grin.

"And we're his baby cubs..?" Sam wondered the idea baiting a smile to his tired face.

_...A smile..._Dean thought, shining inwardly..._It's gonna be ok, everything will be ok..._

"Baby cubs..." Dean said with a snort, "More like sleeping beauty! Dad was wondering if he was going to have to find something supernatural to bring you back..."

"I've been asleep one day Dean, you think the man would give us a break..." Sam said with a smile.

Dean swallowed and studied Sam's innocent face.

"You've been asleep a little longer than that..." Dean admitted.

_...See I'm not lying to him about everything, I'll tell him he's been in a coma for ten days..._

"How long..?" Sam suddenly asked as he studied Dean's face, "Dean what is going on..?"

"Calm down ok..." Dean said gently reaching down and giving Sam a hug, "Just try and relax and get some rest.."

Sam glanced at Dean's head which rested on his shoulder. This was just too weird. Even for Sam. Dean's behaviour was freaking the younger Winchester out.

"Dean..?" Sam demanded, " What's going on and if I have to ask you that question one more time I'm gonna throw you out that window...?"

Dean never raised his head up; his ears were straining to listen to the sound of his brother's heart beating.

"Dad loves you..." Dean suddenly said looking up at Sam, still holding him by his shoulders, "He loves you so much and even though he doesn't tell you, he's really proud of you..."

"For what..?" Sam said shaking his head and regretting his actions instantly, "For letting the demon escape and crashing the Impala, yeah, I bet he's real proud of me..."

"Don't be like that..." Dean cautioned, he couldn't bare to hear Sam talk like that. "You saved our lives, he, I, won't forget that..."

"What was I gonna do, let you guys die..?" Sam said with a chuckle, "No way..."

"I'm gonna see if I can get us some breakfast..." Dean said patting Sam's hand which he took in his, "You catch up on some sleep.."

"Hey, you gonna call dad, tell him to come see us...?" Sam asked in a hopeful voice.

"Sure will..." Dean lied with a forced smile as he stood up from the bed. "Now you promise me, you won't try and jump out this window while I'm gone..."

Sam laughed, and Dean felt him smile inwardly.

God Sam's laugh was infectious. Dean loved it. It was less than twenty four hours ago he thought he'd never hear it again.

"I mean it, you promise me..." Dean said with a smile as he walked towards the door, "Cause I'm not jumping after you to save your ass, not from the fifth floor..!"

"I'm not going anywhere..." Sam said stifling a yawn and allowing his eyes to flutter close.

Dean paused by the door and studied Sam. That reply bought an odd sense of deja-vu for Dean.

However, not for the first time in the last twenty four hours, he believed Sam.

Sam wasn't going anywhere.

That thought alone spurred Dean on with his mission.

And if a little white lie to keep his brother well was what it took, then so be it...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

There was only one person who knew Dean Winchester better than Dean himself.

Sam.

Sam Winchester listened as the door to his hospital room closed.

Dean had been lying. He'd lied from the very beginning about everything. Sam didn't know how he knew, he just did.

There was only one explanation to Dean's erratic behaviour and it filled the youngest Winchester with dread.

Dean would only ever lie to him to protect him from something, and Sam had a strong feeling he knew what that something was.

John Winchester was dead.

Sam had been the one to kill him.

The chocked feeling quickly returned to Sam and he fought desperately to subdue himself.

Sam knew he'd never get a straightforward answer from Dean, so Sam knew he was going to have to get the answers himself.

Sam was going to have to find John Winchester without Dean's help...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Wonder what Sam's up to now, and Dean for that matter…? Thanks for reading, hope you continue to enjoy this story. Please remember to review, it's like fluid for this writing horse ! See you all next update xxx**


	9. Reality Check

**Hiya ! Wow, thanks so much for the reviews guys, a big special thanks to all the new readers that have hopped aboard this crazy little ride, hope to continue to see you around in here. Ok firstly, from the reviews I can tell that the decision was split over what Dean did. wonders what to say All I can say is that Dean has his reasons for doing what he's doing.**

**Ok, so after this chapter there is only three chapters left. Yeah, that's right, this ride is almost to an end, but there will be a second story after this one; more information on it will be posted as we bring Forsaken to a close.**

**Once again, thank you all very much for all the reviews, I love responding to your comments (as long as I can). I hope you enjoy this chapter as well, just don't forget to review at the end…..**

**On with 'Reality Check'….**

Chapter Nine- Reality Check

Dean Winchester rounded the corner from his brother's ward, and let out a loud sigh as soon as he deemed himself far enough from Sam.

This was harder than the elder brother had anticipated. It was only five minutes ago that Dean had been in the room telling Sam that dad was ok, and was probably catching up on sleep. Now Sam was expecting to see John, the next time Dean returned, and stupidly Dean had allowed Sam to believe that.

What a stupid idea that had been. How on earth could Dean deliver John Winchester to his younger brother, if he himself had no idea where their father had taken off to? Dean swallowed angrily as he sat down on a row of chairs, the tiredness beginning to creep up on him. He was so angry and yet at the exact same time, so terrified.

Dean would have told Sam anything if it helped keep his little brother well and fighting fit, but delivering what he had promised was something even Dean wasn't sure how he'd pull off.

The one hundred percent fit Dean would already have taken off and hunted down his father and dragged him back to the hospital by his hair, heck even the fifty percent fit Dean would have done that.

This Dean however was nowhere near even fifty percent fit, he was lucky to even scrape twenty this morning. There wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt, the dull throb of the beginnings of a headache echoed in his mind; and so did his still unfulfilled promise to his little brother.

This just wasn't fair.

Dean knew his lie was going to get him into trouble, but truth be told Dean would have told Sam the sky had turned pink if it meant that Sam would smile and continue to get better.

_...Maybe I should just take off and look for dad. I could tell him that he needed to come back for Sam. That Sam needed him, that I..._

Dean shook his head, trying to shake the thought clear from his brain. He was twenty-seven; he didn't need to be taken care of as a child anymore. Well so Dean kept telling himself.

_...I just want to talk to him. See him and ask him why he left again...What I did wrong..? I need him, I need Sam and I can't lose them both..._

Dean sighed again, scrubbing his tired face with his hands. For a half a second the big brother did consider taking off and leaving Sam for a little while; but truth was; Dean knew he couldn't. Not only was Dean all to aware of how dangerous it was for Sam to be left alone, with this demon on the loose, and not to mention the over pizzazz of the good Dr. Kessin and his 'miracle' survivor in the shape of poor Sammy- but the small fact of Dean not wanting to be parted from Sam right now sent off vivid warning bells in Dean's head. He knew that wasn't normal.

Then again, was anything in the Winchester family ever straightforward..?

Dean forced himself to his feet and begun to walk towards a pay phone; he'd call his father and leave a message. Dean set his hand on the receiver and sucked in a breath, reluctantly, he allowed his hand to fall away from the phone and instead lent against the wall with his back.

_...Who am I kidding..? Dad didn't even come near us when we went back to Lawrence, or when I was dying... _Dean thought miserably..._Why on earth would he come back now..? If he cared at all, he'd have never left us in the first place..._

Dean could feel himself sliding down the wall as he sat on the cold hospital floor, with his back against the wall.

Sam deserved to know the truth. Sam deserved to know that he was right about dad all along, that their father cared about nothing more than revenge and didn't give a rat's ass about what happened to anyone else along the way.

It was one thing Dean knowing that Sam was right, it was another thing telling Sam. He knew what Sam would do. He'd do what Sam always did; blame himself. Sam would twist the situation in a way that only Sammy could do. He'd read the whole disastrous situation as being his handy work, blaming their father for leaving because he never killed the demon when he had the chance, for crashing the car- for any reason that Sam could think of that would justify this being Sam's fault.

Dean knew differently, Dean knew that Sam had refused to kill their father, even though revenge for the pain and agony of losing not only Jessica but their mother also, stood just a bullet away. But Sam had not fallen for the demon's trick, the younger Winchester had against the odds refused to pull the trigger; and Dean knew he had a hand in that.

He didn't remember much about what happened after that, but he remembered clearly that Sam had listened to Dean and not done what the demon had set Sam up to do; kill their father.

Dean was proud of his Sammy, so proud of him for doing that. So proud that Sam had chosen his family over revenge. Unfortunately, according to what Sam had said, the only person who had seemed to learn anything from the dire situation that night, had been Sam. John Winchester had been pissed that Sam had not killed him.

Sighing heavily, already sensing that a nurse was on his way over to him, Dean made a decision.

Unlike his father, Dean Winchester was going no where. Not without Sam…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester studied the room he lay in. He'd been conscious all of a couple hours and he was already sick at the sight of the bare magnolia walls and unwelcoming sponge mattress that housed his aching 6'4 frame. The younger Winchester felt so many things; yet there was only one question that lay at the fore front of his aching confused mind.

Why had Dean lied..?

Sam knew his brother. Out of everybody Sam had known his entire life, little brother Sammy knew his big brother better than anyone; possibly better than he had known Jessica and possibly better than Sam actually knew himself. This was why Sam was struggling to understand why Dean had lied to him regarding their father.

The last year of Sam's life had impacted greatly on Sam, but the most powerful impact on the young twenty three year old, had been Dean. Sure enough, Dean and Sam had been close growing up, bickering and squabbling like any siblings; however, they were by each other's side the moment any situation ever arose, and being a member of the Winchester family, situations often arose.

But this last year something had altered for Sam when it came to Dean; he was no longer just his over protective big brother who often drove him near crazy with attitude and temperament, he was now Sam's closest friend, and possibly even more importantly, Sam's protectiveness of Dean had soared beyond even the younger boys expectations.

Sam would do anything for Dean that went without question; he'd die for his big brother in a heartbeat, the only difference was; now Dean knew. Sam and Dean's relationship had gone from squabbling brothers to brothers who would give their dying breaths for each other without even a second thought for their own lives. After all, the only sure thing in either Winchester brother's life was each other.

Sam smiled at the thought, they were there own dysfunctional little family and although he would never admit it; Sam loved it.

The younger brother thought back to the last year, from the moment Dean had turned up at his apartment at Stanford and had asked him to come and find their father who had gone missing, all up to the few days later when Jessica had been killed. Sam swallowed as he forced the bitter memory down his throat again, trying to forget the images of his one time true love, the girl he'd wanted to marry, who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, to settle down with and have a couple kids with, burn like chicken wings in a vat oil.

That was a bitter thought for Sam, one that made his empty stomach churn violently.

They'd all died because of him. His mom, his beautiful, brave loving mom had died because of him; and now Jessica innocent of everything, had died because of Sam.

It was a horrible feeling that caused Sam's spirit to cry inwardly.

Sam had taken off separately from the Winchester family, determined to get away from his hunter roots and the plague of misery that seemed to surround his family.

Sam sighed at the memory, all that running he'd did to get away from his family, and yet they'd never moved on without him. His observations, opinions on what he wanted, what he lived for had all changed. Sam had expected to find their father; kill the demon that murdered his mother and girlfriend and return to the apple pie life that he'd spent his teenage years dreaming about. That had been almost a year ago.

Sam realized that the only apple pie he'd ever receive would be on a plate from a greasy diner Dean would have picked out for them to dine in while on a job.

Dean had stood by him, stubborn and determined to make sure his little brother didn't carry the burden of the awful curse of the supernatural on his already fragile shoulders. Sam considered the idea; was having visions of evil things actually a curse..?

They'd been pretty handy most of the times, the most important one being saving Dean's life from another supernaturally blessed person, a young man named Max with the power of telekinesis who had allowed evil to destroy his fragile mind. It was the same telekinesis power that Sam had shown that had saved Dean's life. It had never resurfaced since that occasion, and truth was, Sam hoped it never would. Max had become obsessed with killing and consumed with revenge and it was his power of telekinesis that he was using as his murder weapon. Sam prayed that he would be nothing like Max and hoped that his own display of telekinesis had been exactly as Dean had described it; a freak adrenaline rush.

Sam sighed deeply, he'd tried to save Max and he'd failed in doing so. Just like he'd failed his mom and girlfriend. He'd robbed the Moore family of a beautiful daughter and sister and robbed his father of a wonderful wife and Dean of a loving mother.

Sam closed his eyes and felt hot angry tears burn away.

Yup, every single thing in Sam's life had changed. The younger man wasn't happy with the changes, but right now having Dean by his side and willing to fight on his side gave him great comfort. Sam lay on the uncomfortable bed wondering if he deserved his brother's kindness, love and loyalty.

The younger man kept his eyes closed and sucked in a shaky breath as the awful thought he'd been trying to ignore in his mind snuck back to the fore front of his mind, leaving his stomach swarming with butterflies.

There could only ever be one reason why Dean would lie about their father being here. Sam knew that their father hadn't placed a foot inside his room. Sam had no proof, he just had a feeling, a nagging feeling that something about the whole situation wasn't ringing true. That's what led Sam to the conclusion that Dean was lying about their father.

Dean could sell ice to the Eskimos and sand to the Arabs, he could lie and talk his way into anything and out of everything, there was only one person on this planet that Dean couldn't tell a lie to- Sam. Sam always knew, he had no idea how he could do it, but there was always something in Dean's eyes that would briefly give him away. Sam had seen the uncomfortable look flicker just for a second in Dean's smile. Sam knew Dean's smile, it was always good natured, taken straight from his playful soul and none of the smiles Dean had bestowed on Sam had even touched his hazel green eyes, let alone touched the very depths of his soul.

So Sam knew.

Sam knew that their father John Winchester was dead.

Dean was just covering the secret that he was dead until maybe Sam was feeling better, that sounded like the plan his older brother would come up with. Get Sam back on his feet and then tell him that their dad was dead.

…_..Great plan Dean….._ Sam thought to himself.

Sam sat up slowly, he knew his plan that was slowly forming in his head probably was the stupidest plan he could have come up with, but right now this plan was better than no plan.

Dean was adamant that John Winchester was alive, yet there was something not quite right about the way he spoke about the old man.

Sam had to know one way or another, and he knew he wouldn't get any help from Dean in his direction. So he was going to have to find this out by himself.

Slowly, Sam eased himself into a sitting position and with teeth gritted he pulled the IV from his wrist and also the pulse monitor, he found himself cursing under his breath, words Dean would be proud of. He promptly reached over and hit the off switch and turned the machine off. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and forced himself to stand up slowly. His head spun like a big top and his vision zoomed in and out awkwardly. Sam gritted his teeth; this was going to be tough.

He had no idea why he felt so bad, or how many days he'd been in hospital, but his head hurt with a passion all by itself. That was the worse of the pain, the grinding pain that was pulling him swiftly into an unconscious state.

Sam shook his head, trying desperately to stay awake and while the pain increased in his head due to the shaking, for the moment, the urge to sleep had subsided.

Taking no chances to how long this effect would stay with him, Sam feeling like he had a major hang over, pushed his clumsy feet into a walking movement. The younger man forced his body to bend down and check the small locker style bed unit that housed the water and jug beside his bed. Just like Sam had expected, sweats, similar to those Dean had earlier been wearing lay in the locker.

Staring at the gown he was wearing, he fiddled with the ties and messily threw the sweats on.

Sam sank onto the bed, exhausted by what he'd done, but youngest son had a job to do, a mission to take on.

He knew it wouldn't be long before the hospital staff realized that the machine had been switched off, so he had to get moving, now.

…_I can sleep later, but come on, you got to get moving now….._ Sam urged himself as he pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the door of his room silently opening it.

Injured or fully fit, he was still a hunter, a Winchester, and he knew how to get of a room without being seen. It had been something that his father had taught him, Sam prayed inwardly that wouldn't be last thing that his father ever taught him.

Sam's hazel eyes fell on the clock above the door; Dean had been gone almost an hour.

Slipping out the room, unnoticed, Sam silently headed towards the elevator and snuck in without being seen. The younger man was the only one in the large elevator and Sam was grateful at that break as he lent heavily against the wall, his breathing feeling shallow and the pain in his head increasing with every breath that rattled through his aching body.

Yet, Sam kept going, urging his exhausted eyes to scan the ward lists and floors and that were plastered on the inside of elevator.

There was only place Sam was interested in finding.

The morgue……

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester walked along the corridor and rounded the corner to the quiet hall that housed his injured younger brother.

"Mr. Turner..!"

Dean slowed his walking and turned towards the sound of the voice, there was something familiar about the female voice, and it didn't take the elder hunter long to realize that it was the lovely nurse Kimberly waving him over to the nurses station.

Ironically, this was possibly the first time Dean didn't want a beautiful females company and instead would simply settle for the company of his little brother. Dean had to get back to Sam; he'd been gone for almost an hour.

"Dean..?" Kimberly called again, slightly louder than before.

Dean sighed and gave the nurse a small wave; the elder man wasn't in the mood for small talk or conversation at the moment, but the pretty nurse had spotted him, it would be rude just to walk away and leave her. Reluctantly, Dean headed towards the brunette and slapped his most charming smile on his face.

"Morning…!" Kimberly said with a grin as she studied the handsome patient in front of her, "How are you feeling today..?

"Pretty good, I got to get back to Sam…" Dean explained, hoping that explanation would signal the end of the conversation.

"How is Sam this morning..?" Kimberly wondered curiosity clear on her pretty face, "No one can believe what happened yesterday, it's a total miracle…"

"Yeah that's my Sammy, never doing anything by halves…" Dean muttered as he lent against the counter, staring over the reception area. Dean's eyes fell on a large black bag, and Kimberly noticed with a bright smile.

"Recognize it..?" Kimberly asked playfully, "He said you would.."

"He…?" Dean whispered, already standing straight, his hair standing on end. Dean's mouth begun to run dry as his heart quickened inside of his chest.

Had John Winchester come back to him..? Had his father come back to his family..?

Dean's eyes never left the bag, as he finally found his voice.

"What did the guy look like…?" Dean stammered out eventually, "Did he look…-"

"Like your father…?" Kimberly interjected, "No, he was older, slimmer, grey hair…"

………_..Bobby……_ Dean thought with a sad sigh, as he felt his heart sink down to his knees.

"He asked me to give you this bag the next time I saw you…" Kimberly said reaching for the bag and lifting it onto the counter.

"Keep it there, I don't want it…" Dean muttered, his mood instantly growing darker.

"Well, I can't keep it here…" Kimberly said, a little surprised by Dean's attitude, "What do you want me to do with it..?"

"Toss it, I don't care…" Dean muttered, now unable to keep his disappointment and anger under control,

"Dean it's clothes and stuff, if you want me to toss it, don't you think you should ask Sam, whether he wants some clothes or not..?" Kimberly suggested, "Besides it beats walking around with the hospital stuff on…" Kimberly said with a nod at Dean's sweats.

"I'll ask Sam…." Dean mumbled, not liking the idea, that the nurse could actually be correct.

"Then take the bag with you, I can't keep it behind the station this long anymore, I keep tripping over it..." Kimberly said with a smile, "Come on Dean, cheer up, you got so much to be happy about…"

"Yeah right…" Dean muttered between clenched teeth.

The older man was seething. How dare John Winchester behave like this, how dare he send Bobby Singer to bring a bag to the hospital and not even think of coming himself.

This was worse in Dean's opinion.

For his father to be able to give Bobby that bag meant that the father was not too far away from the hospital. John Winchester was right here in the same district and yet he refused to come and see his kids. Dean was at a lost to what he was feeling inside. The elder Winchester brother knew only one emotion at present, and that was hatred. Hatred at his father for abandoning him. Hatred for his father for abandoning Sam.

……_Sam……_ Dean thought sadly, that poor boy thought their father had died. Had tortured himself for the last couple hours thinking that the crash had killed their father and that Sam was responsible for the death. The younger brother had only been conscious a couple hours and he was already putting himself through the mill. Typically Sammy, really, always holding himself responsible for any problem, and constantly blaming himself.

………_.Not anymore…._ Dean thought to himself, _………...Not anymore…._

"You're really lucky to have Sam; I know you're angry at your father…" Kimberly said, her voice breaking through Dean's bitter thoughts, "But at least you still have your brother…"

A small smile mused on Dean's lips. He was lucky to still have Sam. After what he had experienced yesterday, that huge empty gulf that had invaded his entire being. Nope, Dean was never to feel or experience that again. Kimberly was right, Dean still had Sam, and that was a very good thing.

"Yeah, I know, I guess it's just been a rough few days…" Dean admitted, "The old mind is taking a bit of a beating..."

"Well, don't worry about Sam..." Kimberly said now leaning forward in a confidential way, "Between you and me, I think it's fantastic that the specialists are coming to see Sam so soon after what happened yesterday…"

"Specialists...?" Dean promptly asked, fear beginning to heighten in his body again, "Why does Sam need to see a specialist..?"

"Are you kidding…?" Kimberly gushed, a gleeful excited look on her face, "Sam was dead for over forty minutes, and he came back from the dead…!"

"He didn't come back from the dead…" Dean muttered, suddenly looking over at his brother's closed door, "He was just out of it.."

"Dean, he was dead…" Kimberly said matter of fact style, "Doctors from all over what to take a look at him, examine his genetics, his physiology, run some tests on his brain and stuff…" Kimberly explained in an excited tone, "It's caused a big stir…"

Dean swallowed; his psychic induced freak of a little brother had managed to get himself to the top of the poking and prodding section of this hospital. The hospital couldn't run tests. They just couldn't. Dean Winchester wasn't even sure if anything psychic like would show up on scans and tests- but he wasn't going to run the risk in finding out.

The bottom line was that Sam had come back from the dead, all be it, it was only forty minutes, but still something supernatural had taken place and for now, Dean had no explanation for it and that bugged the hell out of the older brother.

Dean was sure a fight had taken place in the room Sam had died in. He's seen his brother bleed, when his body had been pronounced dead. That was impossible, it shouldn't have happened. Dean was well aware of that, and that was what bugged him. Sam had died and then somehow, along the way, Sam's spirit, the beautiful angel that had come to say its good bye to Dean had not been allowed to move on.

Dean's eyes widened suddenly causing Kimberly to give him a curios look.

"Something wrong Dean..?" Kimberly asked in a wondering tone.

Dean reached for the bag and grabbed it protectively in his hands, "Actually yes, I need my discharge papers…"

"What…?" Kimberly demanded, "Dean, you can't discharge yourself, you're not well enough.."

Dean sucked in a deep breath and looked at her thoughtfully, finally he spoke.

"Will I drop dead if I leave the hospital today..?"

"Dean I can't answer that.." Kimberly said shaking her head, "I'm only helping out the ICU ward cause the section is short…" Kimberly said as her cheeks grew a little red, "And not to mention, my certain favorite patient seems to have moved into this ward..."

Dean grinned, even dressed in sweats and feeling like hell, he could pull the most beautiful of women. It was just skills and charm, all of which Dean Winchester possessed.

" Can't you go back down to the ward I'm supposed to be in and get my papers ready, I need to get out of this hospital now.." Dean said playing with his most winning of smiles, "Come on Kimberly, I thought we had some sort of connection here…"

Kimberly smiled, unable to resist his good looks and charm, "I'll go downstairs and try and get your doctor to have a look at you..."

Dean grabbed her hand in his and held it tightly, "Please, no doctors. Just the papers…"

Kimberly stared into Dean's hazel eyes, "I'll try…"

Dean watched as Kimberly left the ICU nursing station, and headed towards the elevators. With the black duffle bag in his hand he headed towards his brother's room with only one thought in his mind.

Sam had been sent back.

Dean wasn't sure what had been in the room with him, but he knew that his little brother had died. He'd been there and witnessed it himself. He'd watched and felt the agony and perhaps more importantly had understood that Sammy had died.

Yet something had stopped his little brother moving on, something had trapped his spirit in that room and sent it back to his body.

That took power. Immense power.

And Dean wasn't about to let whatever had that power, come anywhere near his brother again.

It was time the 'Turner' family checked out of this hospital. Now….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean 'Turner' allowed the pretty nurse to vanish into the elevators. Making sure the nurse had actually gone, he grabbed the black duffle bag and headed straight for the men's restrooms.

Once inside, he begun to accurately sift through the contents of the bag, taking every single item Bobby had left for Sam and himself and committing it to memory.

…_..Bobby….._Dean thought_….My own father couldn't even be bothered to drop this off at the hospital….._

After finding some clothes and toiletries, Dean promptly scrambled out the clothes and for the first time in eleven days locked eyes with his reflection in the small square mirror.

Dean stared wide eyed at his reflection, not only did he need a shower, shave and about forty hours sleep to begin shifting the panda like bags under his eyes, but he actually looked about as bad as he felt. Despite the horrid appearance, a small smile did meet his face. Even in this state, he could still pull women.

"Well when you've got it, you've got it…" Dean said to himself as he pulled the toothbrush from one of the two toiletries bags and quickly brushed his teeth.

Dean didn't study the other bruises on his body, the stitches on his chest, he didn't have the time. He had too many things to take care of, and most of them pointed straight back to his little brother.

The elder brother thought about his younger sibling who he knew lay sleeping in his hospital bed. It was probably the most unsafe place for Sam to be right now and the irony left him feeling bitter.

After giving the bag a thorough search, he found two wallets with new ID's and perhaps more surprisingly, Dean found a pair of keys he instantly recognized.

The keys to the Impala.

Dean studied the small set of keys in his hand, and double checked the bag; there was only one set. The elder Winchester couldn't help but find the entire scenario bizarre, after all according to Dr. Kessin and the little Sam had remembered, Dean had expected his beloved Impala to be nothing more but a pile of scrap metal.

Dean quickly stood up from the toilet seat he'd taken residence on and promptly stuffed everything he'd taken out back into the bag.

His eyes scanned the area making sure that he had left no clue behind of his whereabouts and hurriedly left the restroom.

Feeling more refreshed and slightly more confident in his plan of what to do with Sam, Dean strode purposefully towards his brother's closed door and promptly opened it.

What Dean found on the other side however struck the elder brother like a hot poker.

Dr. Kessin and Dr. Wallis were standing in his brother's room, Sam's chart in Dr. Kessin's hand and a furious and excited conversation was taking place between the two men. However, upon Dean's unexpected appearance, the atmosphere instantly changed.

Dr. Kessin looked softly at Dean while Dr. Wallis grew angry.

"What have you done with him Dean..?" Dr. Wallis demanded, as Dean's attending doctor stared angrily at the twenty-seven year old, "If you've removed your brother from this hospital, then that was a very stupid thing to do..."

"Removed him..?" Dean whispered, as he shoved past the doctors and stared at the bed.

"Where's Sam, Dean..?" Dr. Kessin asked in a more gentle tone, "Dean, he's very ill, if you've taken him away somewhere you have to return him…"

Dean said nothing.

His eyes only focused on the abandoned bed Sam had left behind in his haste to escape.

"He knows…" Dean whispered out loud, his feet already moving frantically towards the door, panic already beginning to heighten inside of him and clamp around his heart.

Sam knew he'd lied.

Dean ignored the shout from the doctors as he took off down the corridor in search of his brother.

Why couldn't Sam just do as he was told and stay put in one place for more than ten minutes..?

Why was Sam always being difficult and questioning everything…?

Because that was just the way Sammy was. He'd never change. Dean never wanted him to.

…_..Man this plan so would have worked if Sam had stayed put in the friggin bed, I had everything figured out….._ Dean thought as he raced down the corridor his eyes scanning for Sam.

It just hadn't worked out the way Dean Winchester had planned.

Geeze, did reality suck….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Why can't Sammy ever do what he's told..? LOL Oh dear, sniffs I wouldn't trust that Dr.Wallis as far as I could throw him, go for it Dean…run ! Hope you enjoyed it and please don't forget to review. See you all for next update xxx**


	10. Mission

**waves Hi ! First of all can I offer everyone a huge apology over the crappy state of my responses to reviews. I couldn't answer any (and still can't at the moment) because apparently I wasn't the author of this story…go figure eh..? So I'm hoping that this goes a lot better and a lot smoother. I know a lot of people had problems logging onto the page; hopefully the site is back to normal now.**

**Anyway enough with the moaning. As always, thank you to those who submitted a review, I have just managed to read them, and as always they inspire me to keep on going. Welcome to the new readers and I hope they continue to stick around.**

**Ok, a lot of people are asking about the demon…humm….I haven't forgotten about him guys; there is always time for him to show up- including the next story. Oh and as for the doctors….**

**Anyway, enough chit-chat, Forsaken is almost at an end now, setting the scene for the new story that will follow 'Lying in Wait'.**

**On with the 'Mission'….**

Chapter Ten- Mission

Sam Winchester was a smart boy.

After all he'd been smart enough to get himself into Stanford University, off his own back and earn himself a scholarship into one of the top rated universities in America.

So Sam was smart; the brains of the Winchester household. Well it what's he used to tease Dean with.

Sam was book smart, while Dean was known as street smart. It was just one of those things that everyone who had ever meet either boy, knew.

Same way everyone knew the grass was green and the sky was blue.

They were just plain old boring facts.

So was the fact that Sam Winchester was smart.

Just another boring fact.

Yet Sam Winchester was just a breath away from screaming down the entire hospital.

The youngest Winchester had lost count at the amount of times he had spent riding the elevator up and down, like it was some demented fair ground ride. It was slowly beginning to churn Sam's stomach, or maybe it was the lack of food, or perhaps the medication that been sifting through his veins that were making the twenty-three year old feel like he'd just celebrated his eightieth birthday and was recovering from a replacement hip operation.

How friggin hard was it to find the morgue..?

As Sam was beginning to discover; very hard indeed.

Rubbing his hazel eyes sleepily the dark haired youngster trotted out the elevator and stood gazing around the ground floor of the hospital. Sam was gaining some curious looks and he knew why. As much as he had tried to alter his appearance by changing out the hospital gown that revealed way too much of Sam's modesty, he still looked like a patient, and worse, he still felt like one.

That was one of the main things that confused Sam. Not like the entire ordeal of Dean lying to him over their father wasn't confusing enough, the younger brother was now trying to figure out how he'd managed to lose almost a week and a half of his life somewhere and have no memory whatsoever of it.

That was just plain weird in Sam's opinion.

He should remember something, anything. Where had he been for the last eleven days..?

Sam stared once again at the list of wards pinned to the wall near the elevator, his eyes scanning slowly in case he had missed the location the other eighteen times he'd examined the same map on different floors.

_...The basement, the morgue has got to be in the basement..._Sam said in a sarcastic tone to himself_...For crying out loud Sam, wake up !..._

That was the other thing that was bothering Sam. The tiredness. The younger Winchester couldn't ever think of a time a previous to this where he had ever felt so exhausted and tired in his whole life. He felt lifeless, drained. Like he was running on auto pilot and for Sam, having no actual control over his own body left the youngster nervous and uneasy. Sam knew about the crash, knew he was in hospital because of the crash, and knew Dean was there because of the whole damn situation. Sam knew that when he'd woken up he'd seen Dean staring down at him, and while he couldn't bet his life on it, Sam was sure Dean had been crying.

_...Maybe my eyes were playing games on me, Dean doesn't cry. Especially over me..._Sam thought as he shuffled down the corridor, in search of stairs to take him down to the floor below.

Dean had looked like hell, that, Sam did remember. His big brother, his warrior, his hero looked beat to hell. Sam swallowed as he pushed himself to continue looking around the hospital. He remembered seeing that looked in Dean's eyes. It was a look Sam never remembered seeing previously, but it was a universal look. It was a look of relief.

Or maybe it was a look of fear, or one of sheer happiness. Honestly, it was sometimes hard to tell with Dean, most emotions uttered by the elder man usually came with a wise ass remark or some sarcastic comment.

_...That damn mask of his..._Sam thought miserably as rubbed his aching head unconsciously as he shuffled down one of the many corridors.

_...Only I would be the one born with a brother, where you never knew what he was thinking or feeling..._Sam thought as finally paused at a different set of elevators that had been set back away from visitors and patients.

_...Then again, what patient wants to find the morgue...? _Sam thought as he glanced around hurriedly to make sure no one was studying his movements. Once the doors opened to the wide elevator, the younger Winchester slipped in unnoticed.

The plan was simple, go down hunt through what ever information he could find and see whether or not John Winchester had been booked in somewhere along the line. Of course, Sam was well aware that his father had probably used an aliases, and truth was, that was the part that was worrying Sam the most.

If there was no John Winchester on the list, that would mean that Sam would have to go searching in the fridges.

Sam shuddered unwillingly at that thought.

The younger Winchester didn't have a problem looking at bodies, hell in their line of work, digging up bodies; salting and burning them were all in a days work. Of course, that was a different situation, and those situations always called for different measures. After all most the bodies they got to know, were from owners whose spirits were doing the dirty on whoever got on their nerves.

Those bodies were already dead, buried. They'd just come back spirit wise to drive people mad.

The ones Sam was going to have to examine would have only just died. Still fresh, still free from possession by evil, still, innocent even.

That's what worried Sam.

Digging around in fridges in search of his father… who he knew in his heart was dead.

The thought of finding his father on a slab in the morgue with that disgusting tag on his toe with his false identity on it made his stomach churn).

Even in death the Winchesters couldn't be normal.

Sam shuddered again as the elevator doors opened in the dark, damp smelling basement.

It was cold down in the basement, and while Sam expected no less, he was still taken back by how cold be felt.

"Suck it up Sam; you bought this on yourself..." Sam muttered out loud to himself as he stuttered down the corridor, growing increasingly aware at how wobbly his legs were feeling and how drained he was becoming.

But he had to keep going.

He had to find John Winchester. He had too much to tell him, too much to ask him. Sam needed to know whether his father hated him, he needed to know whether what the demon said was true. Sam needed to know if their father had learnt anything from the demon. Most importantly, Sam needed to know that the demon was wrong about Dean.

"Dean is the glue to this family…" Sam muttered as he walked slowly down the dark halls, "I'll be damned if this demon screws up my whole family because of me..."

Stubbornly, Sam Winchester ignored the panic that was slowly beginning to rise in his chest. He knew he was in the right place, the cold chill alone that shot like a bullet down his spine was enough of an announcement to him.

Yet he ignored it in search of the truth.

_...If Dean won't tell me about dad, I'll just have to find out myself..._ Sam thought, as he slowed his pace to a stand still when he spotted a door inside the wall.

Ignoring the instinct to turn and run, and ignoring the sudden urge of wanting a shot gun loaded with rock salt; Sam continued with his mission.

He ignored everything bad about the entire situation.

Including the pain that was slowly leaking into his head...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester flew down the corridor, the rage he had pent up inside was already dangerously close to exploding; all he needed was an outlet.

And there was Dean's outlet, standing in the corridor looking at the elder Winchester boy with a severely disapproving look on his face.

Dean was going to enjoy knocking that look clean off his face.

He'd never been a fan of this doctor.

In one tiger like move, Dean grabbed Dr. Wallis, his ex-doctor and slammed him loudly and heavily against the wall.

"You better tell me, right now what you've done with Sam..." Dean growled, "And you better believe this, when I was born, my folks installed a bull shitting detector in my head, so if I even smell any crap coming out of your mouth, you're going to need a food tube inserted into that cesspit stomach of yours..."

"Get your hands off me..." Dr. Wallis snapped angrily, "Get your hands off me right now, before I have security remove you from this hospital..."

Bitterly Dean dropped the doctor nosily onto the floor. However, the elder Winchester, clearly livid and fighting desperately not to knock the doctor into the realms of unconsciousness, stood staring menacingly over the doctor.

"If you have laid one finger on my brother..." Dean hissed, "If there is one strand of hair out of place on that kids head..."

"You'll what..?" Dr. Wallis demanded as he picked himself up off the floor. Dr. Kessin grabbed a frazzled Dean and gently pulled him back a step.

"Dean, we need to find Sam..." Dr. Kessin explained, "I know you're worried about your brother, but Dean we're not the enemy, we're not going to hurt Sam. We just want to help him..."

"Help him..?" Dean shouted, "You want to take him off to run tests on him, he'll be scared out his mind, how is that helping him..? The only thing you're interested in helping is furthering your medical careers…"

"Dean, you need to understand, what took place yesterday, with your brother..." Dr. Kessin beamed clearly unable to keep the excitement out of his voice, "It defies medical history..."

"You just don't know Sam..." Dean said with a half baked smile, "He's always doing crazy things..." Dean explained, desperate for the two doctors to leave his family alone.

"So Samuel makes it a habit to come back from the dead...?" Dr. Wallis pointedly asked. "Dean, we're not in the mood for games, so either you tell us where you've hidden Sam, or I'll have security throw you out of here..."

"Dr. Wallis, there is no need for that; I am more than sure that young Dean here is well aware of the how seriously ill his brother is..." Dr. David Kessin said in a sympathetic tone as he studied Dean's confused face.

"Sam's going to be fine, you said so yourself yesterday..." Dean whispered in a small voice, "You said things will be a little shaky for us, but we'll get through it, remember that's what you told me..!"

"Yes, but Dean, Sam needs medical help..." Dr. Kessin explained gently putting a hand on Dean's shoulder, "The boys been in a coma for over a week, his muscles and body are extremely tired and stiff. He's also had major surgery to remove a blood clot that needs to be monitored closely to make sure he doesn't suffer a relapse or a haemorrhage…"

Dean stood staring at the two doctors. His eyes however only spoke to the kind doctor that had worked feverishly to save his younger brother's life yesterday.

"What will happen to Sammy..?" Dean whispered his eyes only on Dr. Kessin.

"It depends Dean; it all depends on how long it takes for us to find him..." Dr. Kessin admitted, "So if you know where your brother is, I suggest you tell us right now.."

Dean swallowed quietly his eyes dropping to the floor,

"I don't have a clue where he is, I left him in the room going to take a nap. I told him to stay here, that stupid boy promised me that he would stay here and he wouldn't leave..."

"Looks like Sammy had his own ideas huh..?" Dr. Kessin said patting Dean's shoulder reassuringly, "Don't worry then Dean, if Sam really has taken off by himself, he won't have got far. Tiredness will kick in with him and we'll probably find him asleep in a different ward somewhere..!"

"I'll get a search out for him..." Dr. Wallis muttered tightly, not even looking at Dean as he brushed past him. "I want Sam Turner found. Now..."

Dean watched as the horrible doctor walked over to the nurses' station and was rapidly talking into the phone.

Dean believed Dr. Kessin.

Dr. Kessin only wanted to help Sam, make sure he was going to be ok. Give Sam the medical attention he needed like any good doctor would.

Dr. Wallis was a different prospect completely, he wanted Sam found so his prize wonder patient could make the latest issues of readers digest. Dr. Wallis wanted to be famous in the world of medicine, and Sam was his route to fame.

Dean found his feet moving before his brain had even gone into gear.

He had to find Sam before the hospital staff did...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester looked around the cold, uninviting room he stood in. So far he hadn't bumped into any personnel or security, Sam wasn't sure how long that luck would hold out, so he quickly found himself urgently wanting to get his mission over with.

There was something not so inviting in looking on the other side of the metal doors that lined the wall, in a three up six along motion. The young hunter had no need to touch the doors, he knew they were cold.

They were fridges.

Slowly, Sam scanned the doors and swallowed when he realised that the only thing on the doors were small slits of paper which held nothing but initials. Glancing at the door closest to him, the hunter stared at the initials, F.W.

Could that be John Winchester...?

Sam sighed, so this wasn't going to be as straightforward as he hoped it would be. He was going to have to start looking.

Slowly, he placed his shaky hand on the handle and with every bit of strength he had, pushed down the on the heavy handle, which groaned. Once open, he tiredly pushed the door against the wall, held his breath and his nerves and wheeled out the first body.

Trembling, Sam forced himself to look at the face.

It wasn't John Winchester.

Sighing in relief he hurriedly shoved wheeled the body back and promptly closed the door nosily behind him. He finally let out the breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding.

Shivering, Sam quickly did a calculation to all the metal doors in the room with him.

There were fifty four bodies in the room with him.

Swallowing, Sam suddenly wished that Dean was in there with him. He knew his brother, bold as brass. He wouldn't give a damn about what he had to do, a job was a job. Sam felt his head grow heavy. He longed for Dean's strength and resilience at the jobs they had to do.

But he was a Winchester too, and if Dean could do this job without wanting to pass out, then Sam would do it too.

Truth was though, Sam wasn't sure if he could do it. Everything was hurting, none more so than his head. The pain was unbelievable and he could feel his eyes growing heavy. Although Sam was usual a strong person, mentally and physically he was beginning to cave, and to Sam, it was a worrying feeling.

The urge of wanting to sleep was simply too over powering.

_...Search all these fridges and then you can sleep..._Sam promised himself_...Remember why you're doing this..._

Sam sucked in a breath and methodically headed for another cabinet.

He had to keep going, not only for his own peace of mind, but for Dean's. If Dean was lying to protect him from pain, then Sam was going to free Dean from the burden of having to carry the secret; after he'd kicked his ass in for lying to him first of course.

Ignoring the chewing sensation that hammered in his brain, screaming and demanding for him to lie down and go to sleep, to give up and surrender to the world of unconsciousness; Sam kept going.

He was a Winchester, and Winchester's never ever gave up.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester stood numbly by the elevators. It was time to stop thinking like Dean and start thinking like Sammy. The last half an hour spent hurrying from floor to floor, was having a bigger impact on him than the elder hunter would care to admit. He was absolutely exhausted.

Of course, Dean Winchester wouldn't tell anyone, not even Dr. Kessin who could see Dean was growing tired. The idea of a doctor or whoever telling him he couldn't do something was like waving the preverbal red rag in front of a bull. Dean was going to find Sammy, and then worry about the consequences of his actions later.

So for now, Dean was ignoring and more importantly avoiding everyone.

Especially Dr. Kessin.

_...Where would Sam go in a friggin freaking hospital for crying out loud?..._ Dean thought as he scanned the row of wards on the list.

_...Man I hate these God forsaken places..._Dean thought to himself, anger beginning to steam through_... I'm so gonna kick his ass for running off like this, I'll kick his friggin skinny ass..._

Dean sighed as he considered his last thought. Why had Sam run off..? Wasn't it obvious, the kid was upset over their father.

Who could blame him, Dean was upset himself.

"Son of a bitch..." Dean muttered to himself as he hammered on the call button waiting for the elevator to come down.

He knew exactly where his little brother had gone.

Sammy had to gone to find the truth.

He'd gone to the morgue...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

He wasn't there.

It had taken Sam almost an hour, but he'd done it.

John Winchester wasn't among the dead.

Exhausted, Sam staggered out through the entrance and nosily shut the door. There was no need to be quiet anymore; truth was Sam wanted to be found.

He had a feeling he needed to be found.

Sam Winchester knew the staircase was just around the turn, yet suddenly that short walk looked like a marathon to him. His legs were like jelly, quivering under him like a new born foal. He felt useless and more worryingly for Sam, he felt scared.

He felt powerless to stop himself from falling to his knees and the younger Winchester soon realised he couldn't walk anymore. Deciding this was as good as anywhere to stop,

Sam dragged himself to the wall and lent with his back against it, dragging his tired legs up against his chest and rested his head on them.

The pain in his head had been a bitch the minute he'd left the bed. He'd ignored the pain the whole way through his mission, but now the pain demanded his full attention and it dually received it.

His eyes growing heavy and the strangest sensation running through his cloudy head, Sam allowed his eyes to close.

A little nap would be ok.

As he felt his eyes close, one thought did invade Sam's mind.

Sam knew Dean. Dean was lying about something. Now if he wasn't lying about the death of their father; then what was his elder brother lying about...?

Sam wasn't sure, but he promised himself that once he woke up, he'd be sure to ask Dean...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester tore down the stairs into the basement.

"Sam..!" Dean yelled loudly, "Sammy, you down here...?"

On hearing no answer, Dean stared down the corridor. Ok, if his annoying little brother wasn't down here, then Dean really was screwed. Other than the morgue, he had no idea where Sam would wonder off to.

Hurrying down the corridor, his hunter skills coming to the fore front of his brain as his eyes automatically scanned the floors and walls for signs of recent activity.

It didn't take the elder brother long to spot a hunched form huddled against the wall towards the end of the next corridor.

"Sam..!" Dean yelled, as he hurried towards his brother, his pace quickening when he spotted no response in his direction, not even a head turn.

" Please be ok..." Dean whispered to himself as he dropped to his knees in front of Sam.

All Dean saw was a mop of brown hair.

Gently Dean reached under the hair and with both hands cupped Sam's face and raised it up so he could see into his baby brother's face. The movement stirred the younger man.

" Hey..." Sam said in tone Dean had to strain his ears to hear.

" Didn't I ask you...-" Dean started to vent, when Sam's quiet voice cut his own.

" You were right..." Sam whispered, his head feeling heavy in Dean's hands which still continued to uphold his head. They were warm and comforting and Sam couldn't help but feel relaxed and safe.

"Of course I was right; I'm your big brother that automatically makes me right..." Dean teased as he gently stroked the hair off Sam's forehead, "You need a hair cut.."

"He's not dead..." Sam whispered, his eyes quickly closing again, "Dad's not dead..."

Dean groaned outwardly unable to hide his disgust at what Sam had come down here to look for.

"He's not dead Deanie..." Sam whispered, as he allowed his eyes to close.

"Oh Sammy, why didn't you just listen to me...?" Dean demanded in an uptight voice.

"I'm tired..." Sam whispered, his eyes closed as he continued the conversation with Dean, "My head hurts..."

Dean swallowed nervously.

This was his chance, nobody knew where they were.

Sam was in his arms and Dean Winchester was sure he could smuggle them both out without being busted by anyone.

His little brother couldn't be taken away by the hospital staff.

They couldn't run tests, not on this miracle patient.

Dean studied Sam's face as he gently played with his brother's dark mane, trying to rouse him. Dean winced when his fingers brushed the padding at side of Sam's head. Dean shuddered when he saw Sam's body automatically flinch at the pain.

Dean swallowed as he looked at the limp, weak form that lay in his arms.

Sam needed medical attention. He needed help. Even Dean could see he was seriously ill.

But was it enough..? Was Sam ill enough to justify staying here in this hospital?

Dean sucked in his breath knowing he was going to have to make this decision without his little brother.

Either stay at the hospital and allow Sam to receive the medical care that he badly needed and risk having the hospital staff and Dr. Wallis run tests on Sam to see how his little brother had come back from dead.

Or grab Sam, sneak away and be prepared to take care of Sam himself and risk the consequences of all the things Dr. Kessin had earlier told Dean about.

He swallowed at the choices.

Both carried heavy consequences.

Yet the pathway for the Winchesters lay at the moment with one brother alone.

Dean.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**It's a pretty straight forward question; if you were Dean, what would you do..? Thanks for reading and as always I would love to hear what you guys think so if you could, please leave a review.**


	11. This Decision

**Thanks again everyone for your wonderful reviews, can't help but say they give me a little tingle every time I read them. I especially love the reviews where you guys actually voice what you love/hate about where the plots are going. Also a huge thanks to those who answered my little question about what Dean should do; well you're about to find out Dean's decision :o)**

**Ok this is the penultimate chapter, so 'Lying in Wait' will be following pretty soon and I sincerely hope that you guys will stick around to find out what happens with the boys and John.**

**Thanks for reading as always and now on with 'This Decision'….**

Chapter Eleven- This Decision

Dean sunk onto the bed with a smile on his face. It couldn't be helped; the look on Sam's highly drugged face was a picture that brought an instant smile to Dean's face. Sam was incredibly high on painkillers that were being fed back into his body on the newly inserted drip line.

"You just get some rest..." Dean said trying to suppress a chuckle as Sam's goofy face turned in his direction.

"That's right, plenty of rest and no more out of ward excursions for you young man…" Dr. Kessin said with a grin. "The only way you are going to get better is with lots and lots of rest..."

Sam nodded slightly over exaggerated and then turned to Dean who was seated at the end of his bed and sighed loudly. Dean gave him a little wave.

"Hi..." Dean said trying not to laugh at his brother, but it was becoming more difficult by the second.

"Deanie..." Sam sang loudly, "Look at the baggie that's hooked to the tubbie..."

"Baggie, hooked to tubbie huh...?" Dean said moving closer to Sam on the bed, "Man you're never gonna believe this when I tell you this later..."

"Tubbie going into armie..." Sam said with a roll of his head as his glazed, heavily drugged hazel eyes studied his brothers. "Deanie, do you want a tubie, or a berry...?" Sam mumbled.

"A berry..?" Dean asked as he caught the smile on Dr. Kessin's face. "Dude I don't do fruits..."

"Good for growing boys..." Sam sang out loudly, which caused both adults in the room to laugh.

Dr. Kessin set Sam's notes back down at the foot of the bed, and turned to Dean.

"Could I have a word with you..?"

"Sure…" Dean said with a nod, as he promptly turned back to Sam, who was fighting to keep his now droopy eyes awake. "Last time I left you alone in this room, you went walkabouts. Try and actually stay this time..."

"Walkabouts..? We got a dog..?" Sam asked, his face a total look of deadpan expression. "Where is it, I want to play with it...!"

Dean turned and sent the doctor a desperate look.

"He isn't going to stay like that is he Doc..?" Dean asked in more hopeful tone than worried, "Because as funny as it is, this could get old, real quick..."

Dr. Kessin chuckled again and opened the door letting Dean leave in front of him. The doctor paused on closing the door to hear Sam break out in song with 'One man and his Dog'.

Dean grinned and looked at the doctor.

"Isn't there like a shot you can give him to, well, bring him down off loopy cloud nine..?" Dean asked.

"Dean it's just temporary, by the time we're finished talking, Sam will be fast asleep..." Dr. David Kessin reassured.

"That's good to know, because while I love the little man, I might have to suffocate him if he kept singing that song all night.."

"There is something about 'One man and his Dog' that sounds like a cat scratching a black board..." Dr. Kessin agreed, which made Dean nod furiously at.

"Have a seat Dean..." Dr. Kessin said, as he pointed to a row of seats not too far away from Sam's room. Dean purposely sat in the seat that faced Sam's door directly.

Dean also couldn't help but notice that Dr. Kessin's mood had changed.

"Is something wrong..?" Dean asked trying to erase the worry in his voice that had quickly begun floating around the pit of his stomach.

"No, nothing per say..." Dr. Kessin reassured as he patted Dean's shoulder.

"Sam's fine...?" Dean asked again, he wanted it spelled out to him in black and white, no technical jargon that he could misinterpret.

"He will be Dean, with time he will be..." Dr. Kessin said.

Dean studied the doctor's face; his features warm his eyes trusting. The doctor genuinely did care about what happened to both Sam and himself; that much Dean could tell.

"There's a but coming isn't there..?" Dean said in a small voice.

" Dr. Wallis wants to start running tests straight away..." Dr. Kessin explained. "Now Sam's my patient, and tests can't be run without my say so..."

Dean's eyes dropped to the floor. He knew what the next question would be.

"Dean, you tell me why I shouldn't run the tests and I won't run them..." Dr. Kessin said in a matter of fact tone.

"Sam's just a normal, average boring human being..." Dean lied, "I don't understand why everyone is so desperate to run tests on my brother..."

"Sam died, Dean..." Dr. Kessin explained, "He was dead for over forty minutes. Yet he's inside that room singing 'One man and his dog'..." Dr. Kessin said pointing to Sam's closed door. "You don't find that strange at all..."

"It was a miracle..." Dean said flatly.

"Miracles don't happen in science, science happens in science..." Dr. Kessin explained, "And I am a man of science..."

Dean stayed silent, not knowing what to say. It was a Kodak moment. It was rare that Dean Winchester was ever lost for words.

"Who are you...?" Dr. Kessin finally asked. "Who are you people..?"

Dean's eyes suddenly raised up, unable to wash the look of surprise off his face.

"What you think I'm an alien or something..?" Dean muttered, "Now that's hardly science based now is it doctor...?"

"I'm trying to help you Dean..." Dr. Kessin said with a sigh, as he noticed that Dean was stubbornly keeping quiet. "Well, answer me this, why was Sam downstairs in the morgue..?"

"Sam's a forensics student..." Dean lied, "He has a paper due, must have thought he could sneak down and take a look around..."

"Looking for a homicide body was he..?" Dr. Kessin asked folding his arms across his chest, clearly not believing a word Dean was telling him.

"Exactly, you know what kids are like these days..." Dean said with a sniff, "Always taking up strange careers.."

"I called the police today Dean..." Dr. Kessin explained, " The crash you and your brother were involved in.."

"Why did you call the police..?" Dean suddenly asked as he could feel that sinking feeling being replaced by the feeling of the titanic.

"The semi that hit you..." Dr. Kessin said ignoring Dean's question, " Why wasn't the other driver hurt. In fact where did the other driver go..?"

"Well, don't ask me, I was too busy being unconscious..." Dean muttered as he jumped to his feet. "When are you starting the tests..?"

"Tomorrow morning..." Dr. Kessin said in a plain tone, "Dean I'm trying to help you here, but I need you to level with me..."

"I don't need your help..." Dean said angrily, "If you really want to help us, then call these tests off and let Sam recover like a normal patient..."

"But Sam isn't normal, is he..?" Dr. Kessin pushed, "And neither are you..."

"And by whose example of normal are we supposed to be following here..?" Dean spat as he turned back towards his brother's door.

"I had a look at your file Dean..." Dr. Kessin said causing the elder hunter to pause, "That slash you have across the heart, the blood loss you suffered; that wasn't from the crash..."

"You have a very active imagination Dr. Kessin..." Dean said, never turning to look at the doctor. "Thanks for you everything you've done for Sam..."

"He won't get better..." Dr. Kessin said his voice cutting into Dean as his hand rested against the door handle. "Sam, he'll never get better..."

"Of course he will..." Dean said turning angrily and looking at the doctor, "You said so yourself, just a little time off and rest and he'll be back to his annoying little self..."

"He's suffered a massive head trauma Dean, you take him out this hospital before these tests and you'll be signing your brother's death sentence..." Dr. Kessin said in a cold tone. "You can not take care of your brother..."

"You're wrong; I can take care of him..." Dean whispered his voice tight and strung with emotion.

"Where's your father Dean...?" Dr. Kessin demanded, "Considering he came in here with you, he's pretty much left you all alone to carry this secret and protect your brother and yourself..." Dr. Kessin pointed out abruptly, "Will you be willing to carry the consequences as well...?"

Dean stood rigid as he thought about his father. Now wasn't the time. Now wasn't the time to smash this doctor's face in or smash the entire the corridor up. Now certainly wasn't the time to crawl under the orange plastic chairs and cry himself to sleep. Dean couldn't allow his brain to think. He was afraid of what he might do or say if he was given the opportunity to think about what he was really feeling.

"Good bye Dr. Kessin... Dean whispered as he silently opened the door to Sam's hospital room and silently closed the door back.

Dr. David Kessin watched as he door to Sam Turner's room closed.

These were special people, the doctor wasn't sure how or why, but that much he knew.

He was also sure that this would be the last time he ever saw these special young men ever again.

"Good luck to you boys..." Dr. Kessin muttered as he turned and headed down the corridor towards the nurse's station.

He had a feeling the boys would need it.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean paced silently back and forth in Sam's room.

Sure enough Dr. Kessin had been correct. Sam was fast asleep in a drug induced sleep and Dean was now beginning to wonder how long it would last.

Time was running out. Fast.

Walking over to Sam, Dean reached down and gently, stroked Sam's hair.

"I'll be right back Sammy..." Dean said quietly.

The elder brother strode towards the door, his hand on the handle. His body froze.

He couldn't open it.

It wasn't locked, but Dean simply couldn't leave Sam.

Not yet. It was too soon.

Dean felt the nerves dancing around his body. His aching limbs screamed for sleep and some decent food but for now Dean couldn't bow to any of their commands, not yet at least.

"I'm coming back Sammy, I promise..." Dean whispered out loud, more to reassure himself than his sleeping little brother.

Gritting his teeth, Dean snapped open the door and forced himself onto the other side of it and quietly closed the door behind him.

His heart was already racing violently. This wasn't normal. None of these feelings of panic and fear was normal for Dean Winchester.

Swallowing the fear and panic like a bitter pill, Dean Winchester stalked towards the elevators of the fifth floor ICU.

He had work to do...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Silently Dean sat in the 1967 Chevy Impala, his pride and joy, his baby; his car.

Well not exactly true. It was his father's car, but little details like that didn't matter between families.

It hadn't taken Dean long to spot the black beauty of a car sitting lonely in the long term parking lot of the hospital.

_...Family..._Dean thought with a sniff as he sat in the driver's seat, his hands running over the steering wheel.

It felt clean, new, and tidy. In fact, it felt a little too clean for Dean's likeness. The Impala needed to be lived in, owned by people who loved it, drove by people who cared.

Dean cared. Sometimes a little too much about the Impala. It was a running joke between Dean and Sam, usually Sam always pointing out to his big brother that if it came between choosing who to save, the car or him- Dean might struggle with the decision.

Decisions, they could be a bastard as well.

Dean had too many to make tonight and nobody there to help him make them. Maybe Sam was right, maybe he had spent too many years of his life following what his father told him to do instead of making his own decisions.

What Dean wouldn't do to have someone make this decision for him tonight?

Sighing out loud, Dean studied the interior of the car. It was perfect, just like the exterior was. Even the devils trap was still engraved on the trunk, trapping evil out and leaving the weapons protected in the back. Dean had been thorough, going through everything in the trunk and mentally taking note of everything that still remained.

Almost everything had been where it was supposed to be. Everything but one piece. A pistol.

The Colt.

_...Looks like daddy dearest didn't want to leave it in our hands..._ Dean thought miserably_...He probably thinks I would have wasted the last bullet..._

Dean sighed loudly, his voice echoing around the car, the smell of fresh wax piercing his nose. Dean's hazel green eyes fell on the glove box, it was the only place left for Dean to look in.

Sucking in a breath and glancing at the time, Dean noted that he'd already been gone exactly forty-seven minutes.

Within that time, he'd headed about ten miles south and booked a motel room and headed back to the hospital.

Now he sat in the parking lot of the hospital and even though he'd made all these decisions by himself so far, the biggest one still needed to be made.

_...Come on Dean... _Dean thought as he reached over to the glove box and opened it. Watching the trap drop open, his hazel green eyes stared at the worn book that sat waiting to be discovered.

Sighing out loud, Dean gingerly reached forward, his heart racing and pulled the book out.

It was John Winchester's Journal.

Dean sucked in his breath, his heart hammering in his chest, to the point where his stitches actually hurt.

Finally he opened the first page and there it sat.

A crisp clean page clipped into the book for either Sam or Dean to find.

Dean stared at his father's hand writing and his heart ached furiously. He was so angry, so angry with his father.

Reluctantly, Dean pulled the clipped page out and opened the A4 page slowly, wondering what kind of letter sat on the white clean page.

Dean's heart plunged to the pits of his stomach. Any ounce of hope he had been clinging onto self destructed as soon as his eyes fell on the page. All hope, any hope was gone.

Co-ordinates.

That was all.

Co-ordinates.

Dean felt the tears burn in his eyes, and he hadn't even realised they'd started to fall until they littered the clean, crisp white page he held.

Worthless.

That was all Dean could think. It was the only word that echoed about Dean's head. That's how he felt. Worthless to his father. No longer a son, just a commodity in the fight against evil. No love, no emotion. No nothing.

Nothing but a bunch of co-ordinates.

No, I'm sorry Dean for leaving you without saying goodbye. No, I'm sorry Dean for running off and leaving you with the responsibility of having to look after your brother. No, sorry for taking off and leaving you broken by your brother's bed side, while he lay in a coma. No, I'm sorry for not being there to take care of you when you needed me. No, I'm sorry for never showing you that I loved you. No, I'm sorry for never being a father to you.

No, I'm sorry for never telling you that I loved you.

Dean finally allowed the tears to fall from his corrupted soul. God the tears hurt. The abandonment. The loneliness. Everything buried out of Dean's body like an illness.

After what felt like a life time, Dean finally lifted his head from the steering wheel. His eyes felt raw, his head ached and his face felt dry.

He needed to get back to Sam.

Taking in a shaky breath, Dean opened the car door and stepped out into the cool evening breeze. He locked the car, and glanced at the paper that still housed his father's co-ordinates.

Dean didn't care where they led to. Or more importantly, he didn't care who they led to.

Sam was the only thing that mattered to him now. Sam was all Dean had. He'd lost him once; he was never ever going to lose his little brother again.

Dean ripped the paper into as many angry pieces as he could. He then opened his palm and watched as the cool evening breeze blew the pieces away, scattering them around the parking lot.

Sam couldn't see him weak. Sam couldn't see him defeated. Sam could never know that John Winchester never loved them or wanted them back in his life.

Dean would keep the memory of their father, a good honest hunter alive for his little brother forever, well, for as long as he mentally could before he broke down.

Sam would need him strong, and there to help him get better. Crying over a father, who didn't love you; that Dean didn't have time for.

With new resolve and a shaky breath, Dean marched back towards the hospital.

The decision was made. They were all wrong. Dean could take care of Sam.

And he'd prove it.

As he wondered back towards the hospital, Dean wondered whether or not there was a jail sentence for kidnapping your own brother...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

_...He's the key...The demon whispered venomously...Dean's the key to you..._

_Sam stared at the demon, its yellow eyes burrowing a hole into the very depths of Sam's soul. Sam struggled furiously with the hand snaked around his neck._

_...Leave Dean alone...Sam begged...He's not a part of this fight. You have me, just take me and do what you want with..-_

_...And what would be the fun in that Sam...The demon chimed...Nope, sometimes you need a key to open a lock..._

_Sam stared at confusion at the demon, trying to ignore the swagger in its voice._

_...Dean...Sam yelled loudly, his eyes darting around furiously looking for his brother...DEAN...!_

_...Sam...The demon mimicked only calling for the younger hunter...It's useless you piece of shit, he can't save you. Not this time..._

_...DEAN...Sam screamed..._

_...Sam...The demon yelled._

"Sam...?" Dean said gently sitting down on the end of his brother's bed, "Sammy..?"

Sam's eyes snapped open at a force he was sure was inhuman. As soon as Dean's concerned face adjusted in his vision, Sam finally relaxed. It was then Sam actually realised how terrible he felt.

"Hey Sammy..." Dean said now moving from sitting at the end of the bed to by the side of his brother. The room was dimly lit, Dean only having switched on the small bed side lamp.

Sam studied his brother's face, "Are you ok, your eyes are red..."

"Just a bit tired.." Dean admitted with a sigh as he tucked one of his legs under him trying to relax his fidgeting body.

" Tough couple days huh...?" Sam whispered as he stifled a yawn. "What time is it..?"

Dean glanced at his watch, "It's almost midnight..."

"You ok...?" Sam said in a tired tone as he saw the look on Dean's face.

" I'm fine Sam, it's you I'm worried about..." Dean admitted, " Can't have anything happening to my baggie tubbie friend, now can I..?"

"What..?" Sam whispered as he looked at Dean's grinning face, and a small weak smile baited to his own face, "I thought I imagined that..."

"Did you also imagine the whole 'one man and his dog' scene...?" Dean said with a grin, "Because, I got to tell you something Sammy, I'm keeping the bragging rights to this one..."

"I'm such a moron..." Sam said rolling his eyes, which he regretted.

"Not a moron, just a majorily doped up idiot..." Dean said with a dry chuckle.

A silence fell between them, and Dean sat staring at Sam's face. Sam could feel his eyes closing off.

"Hey, come on, don't go to sleep on me..." Dean said, unable to stand the sight of watching Sam sleep. He knew that was going to haunt him for a very long time.

Sam sleeping.

It reminded Dean a little too much of what Sam looked like when he was dead. Dean shuddered involuntarily at the memory.

"You ok..?" Sam asked, his voice now slurring.

"Yeah, I'll be just fine, as long as you don't go to sleep on me..." Dean admitted. "I just want us to talk..."

"I'm sorry..." Sam said in a tired tone.

Dean was beginning to feel for the little guy, it was hard enough just trying to keep your eyes open when you were naturally tired, never mind having a neurotic older brother on your tail telling you to keep awake while being heavily doped up on sedatives and painkillers- however to Sam's credit, he was trying.

"Sorry about what...?" Dean asked confused, "You got..-"

"About not believing you Dee..." Sam said as he tiredly raised his hand and gently let it rest on top of Dean's. To Sam's surprise Dean held tightly onto his hand.

"It's ok Sammy; I know why you did it..." Dean admitted, "But I promise you things will be ok, you just have to trust me..."

Sam nodded quietly and left his hand in his brothers. He couldn't fight the pull for sleep anymore. He was too exhausted.

Dean studied Sam's face. That wasn't exactly the reaction he was hoping for when he had asked Sam whether or not he trusted him.

"Sam...?" Dean asked again, this time his free hand reaching up and moving some hair from his brother's forehead, "I'm talking to you..."

"I'm listening..." Sam managed to say, his voice almost vacant. "How's dad...? When's he coming..?"

"Soon..." Dean said in a shallow voice, plunging his guilt further. "Dad's coming soon Sammy..."

He was going to hell, straight to friggin hell.

"Sam, I need to know if you trust me..." Dean asked again, "Sammy look at me please, I know you're tired little man, but I need you to talk to me please..."

Sam forced his tired eyes open; it felt like someone was rubbing raw white onions in his eyes. It was just painful.

"I trust you with my life..." Sam whispered as he almost gasped when his eyes took in Dean's tear ridden face. " Dean, what's going...-"

"Then I need you to do something for me..." Dean said trying to ignore the fact that somewhere along the line, his body had deceived him and the tears had stared to fall from his eyes.

It was bizarre the things your body did when it was tired. Well, it was the excuse Dean was going to keep driving home to himself.

"What do you want me to do..?" Sam asked as worry swept through him, "Dean you're scaring me, what's wrong...?"

Dean bent down and picked up the black duffle bag, opened it and begun to take out a pair of jogging bottoms, t-shirt, underwear and socks.

Sam stared at the clothes and then slowly, Sam's tried eyes found its way to the tear brimming eyes of his elder brother.

"We got to leave..." Dean explained in his own special way, "We got to go now..."

" Hang on, Dean, whoa slow down here..." Sam said as he tried to push Dean's hurrying hands off him. "What about the tests and stuff tomorrow...?"

Dean clicked his tongue as he stood back and looked at his brother, "You heard that huh..?"

"Dean, I need to know what is going on..." Sam asked again, he was passed worrying about how Dean took what he said, the truth was; this Dean in front of Sam was scaring him.

"I know you need to know what's going on, but truth is, I don't have the time to explain it to you..." Dean admitted, "We need to leave now. That's why I'm asking you to trust me..."

Sam slowly looked at Dean's face who was hurrying around the room trying to collect every scrap of evidence that showed sign of any Winchesters ever being present at this hospital, and especially this room.

"You're scared..." Sam finally said which caused Dean to pause.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but..." Dean's voice broke off as he stared at Sam, "This decision, I couldn't risk, I can't..."

"It's ok..." Sam finally said as Dean watched as Sam groggily and tiredly tried to pull himself unsuccessfully into a sitting position on the bed. Dean went to his side and helped him sit up. Sam grabbed Dean's hand and held it tightly in his. Sam was surprised that Dean was trembling under his touch.

"You'll tell me later...?" Sam whispered, "When we get out of here, you promise to tell me what this was all about..?"

"I promise you Sam, I'll tell you everything..." Dean said with a furious nod of his head.

"I trust you Dean..." Sam admitted, "I do trust you..."

To both Sam and Dean's surprise, Dean threw his arms around Sam and hugged him tightly.

Sam couldn't understand why, but he had a feeling this hug was significant, he couldn't remember the last time Dean had actually hugged him.

Dean clung tightly to his younger brother, both in happiness and in sadness.

Happiness that Sam trusted and loved him enough to put his faith in him.

Sadness because Dean Winchester prayed that this decision to get Sam out of the hospital before the tests were done; wouldn't come back to haunt either of them. He was playing with his brother's life.

Literally.

Only time would tell if he had made the right decision...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**(sniffs) They hugged ! Well, I had to put something in there, after all Dean is upset and feels a little abandoned by John and poor old Sam, well, he just misses Dean. Thanks for reading and please don't forget to leave a review….**


	12. Forsaken

**Sorry for the delay in the final chapter, re-started University this week and things have been a little crazy; but things should be back on track now.**

**Alas, this is the final chapter of 'Forsaken'. Thanks to those who have come on board this journey with the Winchesters and a sincere thank you to all of those who were kind enough to send this girl some reviews and wonderful comments of inspiration. **

**There WILL be a story to follow/continue with the boys' journey onwards, and obviously with the premier airing this week, the work will be from my own world; so those still trying to stay spoiler free in other parts of the world- you'll be safe. The story is called 'Lying In Wait' and will start later this week.**

**Thanks again to all those who have reviewed it's always greatly appreciated.**

Chapter Twelve- Forsaken

Dean Winchester sat on the motel bed, which lay just a couple feet away from the bed his younger brother lay asleep on.

Ok, so he'd managed to get them out of the hospital, unseen and unnoticed. He'd managed to get his barely conscious brother into the Impala, ignored the look of horror that had been etched across Sam's face when he'd lay his heavily drugged eyes on the vehicle that had almost killed his family.

Dean had not had the time to deal with his little brother's mental disturbance, so instead had shoved a protesting Sam into the back and slammed the door on him before his drug induced little man could utter another word.

Before they'd even pulled out the parking lot, Sam had already fallen asleep, leaving Dean alone with his own damning thoughts. Dean needed a distraction, he needed one badly.

So that's what Dean was concentrating on right now. Distracting himself.

He took another swig from the almost empty bottle of Corona and placed it down quietly on the nightstand. He knew it wasn't the perfect answer, but it was only answer he could afford right now. Besides, maybe an alcohol induced nap might allow his over active brain to switch off and actually allow him to sleep.

Sleep. When was the last time Dean had actually had some. It seemed like a foreign concept to him at the moment, but the yawn that escaped his mouth told him that perhaps sleep wasn't as foreign as he thought it was. Staring longingly at the other queen sized bed in the room; Dean drew the conclusion that maybe sleep wasn't such a bad idea. Sitting himself back onto the bed, he reached down to undo his boots, and then paused.

He had to check on Sam.

Had to make sure he was just sleeping and not, well, not the other thing.

…_..He wouldn't…._Dean told himself as he found his body moving off the bed.

He crept around towards Sam and leaned down over his brother, hoping the shadow he was casting over him wouldn't alarm his little brother.

Dean watched him sleeping, listening as his breathing remained even, steady and strong. He looked at the dark circles still embedded around Sam's eyes, the paleness of his skin, and the amount of weight his little brother had lost. He was alive, that was pretty much obvious, but from the looks of it, he was barely with his big brother.

Yet Dean wasn't satisfied with what he was seeing. His hand shaking, he reached down and gently touched Sam's hair, stroking it off his forehead. Dean stared at his shaking hand, why was he so jumpy..? Maybe it was the three beers he had had, or maybe it was something else.

…_.I'm going friggin nuts here…._ Dean thought to himself, as his hand continued to stroke Sam's hair.

Perhaps he was being a little rough as the movements roused Sam, which was the reaction Dean didn't want. He instantly withdrew his hand. He wasn't in the mood for having that conversation with Sam.

The conversation where Sam would want an explanation to Dean's bizarre request of trust, and a reason for their sudden and abrupt exit from the hospital. The conversation where Sam would demand to know why Dean was behaving the way he was, why he'd been barely sane in the hospital room and why his older brother was at war with his own sanity.

And yet Dean had managed to wake Sam up, and soon, Dean found himself staring into a set of sleepy hazel eyes.

"You ok..?" Sam asked his older brother, unable to keep the worry out of his voice.

"It's funny how you're always asking me that…" Dean said with a dry chuckle.

"You've been drinking…" Sam muttered, as he struggled himself into a sitting position, which sapped the small amount of energy Sam had from his tired body. He could smell the beer off his brother and it made him feel ill.

"Just a little bit of self medication Sammy…" Dean reassured him, although Dean was surprised at the amount of guilt he felt.

"I know, I was just saying…" Sam said with a shrug, "It's not like you…"

"Yeah, well things are changing around here anyway…" Dean said matter of fact style, "Don't get too attached to the décor in here, we're moving out as soon as daylight breaks…"

Sam glanced at the time, it was almost 5am.

"Have you had any sleep yet..?" Sam demanded, as he swung his exhausted legs over the end of the bed.

Dean watched him do this with wide tired eyes. His hand automatically grabbed Sam's arm.

"What are you doing..?" Dean demanded, as he kept hold of Sam's arm, not allowing him to stand up.

" I'm gonna get a glass of water..." Sam admitted as he looked at Dean's hand, "And then maybe I might go take up hand gliding from the roof..."

Dean's hand dropped away from his brother and he abruptly stalked away from Sam's bed.

"Can the sarcasm..." Dean muttered, as he walked back to the night stand and downed what remained of his beer.

"Sarcasm...?" Sam said in a weary voice, "Dean, you want us to leave at day break, which should be an about an hours time..."

"God you're a friggin geek even when you're barely conscious..." Dean said in disbelief.

"Shut it Dean..." Sam said pointedly, "I want answers to my questions.."

"Not now.." Dean muttered as he sat with his back to his brother staring at the door.

Maybe he could just get up and run straight through it, climb into the Impala and drive. Drive far away and get away from everything. Get away from the memories that haunted his head, the images that were ingrained on his soul, and the feelings that shivered through him twenty four hours a day.

Dean wished he could get away from it all.

"Dean..!" Sam said his voice loud enough to break through into Dean's beer-fogged brain.

Dean finally turned and looked at his younger brother.

God he looked awful. Too awful. Dean couldn't take this anymore, he'd only run away from the hospital little over five hours ago and he already couldn't cope. He was scared, scared he'd make a mistake and cost Sam his life, he was scared that he wouldn't recognise some sort of medical sign and Sam would die and Dean would just have to watch.

Dean shuddered at the thought and hopped to his feet, which only seemed to panic Sam further.

"Dean please, I don't have the strength to follow you around the room and the speed you're pacing at..." Sam said his voice drained and tired, "Dude we're gonna have to pay for a new floor..."

"I just thought..." Dean mumbled, "I just want things to go back to how they were..."

"Then how about you stop pacing and come and sit down and tell me what on earth is going on..." Sam pleaded. "Where's dad Dean, I don't understand what's going on anymore..."

Dean stared at his brother's face. There was the question again. How long could he continue to ignore Sam, or evade answering the question..? Knowing Sammy, not very long at all. Drugged to the eyeballs or not, Sam was no fool, not when it came to Dean.

It was the lies Dean couldn't deal with.

And it looked like he was about to tell another one to his brother.

Dean quietly sucked in his breath and pleaded to whoever was listening to forgive him...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester studied Dean's behaviour.

This wasn't the same brother Sam had grown up with and had been around most his life. Sure enough he'd left Dean behind when he'd gone off to college for two years, but still, Sam couldn't understand where this behaviour was coming from.

It was too erratic.

Dean's behaviour was swinging from superhero to barely clinging onto his own sanity. He was going from the usual nothing could bother me swagger; to the, I'm barely coping here. Sam wasn't sure what to make of it; he was beginning to wonder if the medication he was on was simply causing him to see things that weren't really there. Maybe Dean was just being Dean; over friggin protective.

But the whole taking him out of the hospital. That hadn't made sense.

Then finding the very thing that almost claimed the life of your brother and father sitting cheerfully outside in the parking lot without a scratch on her. Yeah, Sam was beginning to think that medication he was under was perhaps taking him off into a funny world. After all, the Impala had been a wreak. Sam ought to know, he was the only one who had seen the car after the crash. And yet, it was sitting all clean, and in one driveable piece in the hospital parking lot.

Who had fixed it..? John was good, but he wasn't that good. After all, who could fix a car in that state in just a day...? Sam didn't know cars the way his father and brother did, but he knew common sense. That car had been a big job, yet according to Dean, John had been with them the whole time.

That bought Sam to another question.

Where was John Winchester..?

Dean had ducked that question so many times since they'd arrived in one of the worse

motels they'd ever stayed in. The only plus point to the rotting hell hole, was the fact that there were beds inside and a roof over there heads.

However answering this question for some reason seemed to be beyond Dean at the moment. Sam wanted answers, needed answers. Dean had no idea how much Sam needed their father there with them.

Sam had grown up always knowing that out of him and his brother he'd always been the one looking into their world of hunting. He'd spent most of his life knowing that his father didn't approve of what he did. Normal lives did not work for the Winchester family, and as long as Sam continued to fight for a normal life, the fights with his father would always continue.

…_How true was that?…._Sam thought miserably.

This time was different. This time it was completely and utterly different. Sam had never needed to speak to his father more desperately than the way he did now.

This wasn't like an ordinary hunt that had gone wrong. This was the, hunt. The big one. The one this family had been waiting for, for over twenty-two years. The opportunity to avenge the death of the people they loved. John had issued possibly the most important order in his life, and yet Sam had chosen to ignore it. He hadn't been strong enough, he hadn't had the guts, and perhaps he hadn't wanted it bad enough.

The fact that Dean had been in the back ground telling him not to do it seemed irrelevant now. Sam had always made it known to both his father and brother that he had his own mind, so no blame or influence could be placed at Dean.

Sam had been the one to screw up.

He'd let the demon go, allowed it an escape route to slither out. Given the bastard a chance to regroup and hit the already fragile Winchester family at another time.

And it was all Sam's fault.

That's why Sam needed to see his father. Sam wasn't sure why he felt so desperate but he knew he needed to see him. To talk to him. To see if the hate he imagined would be in his father's eyes would really be there. To see if the venom he imagined his father would spit at him for failing would actually be true.

Sam's heart was sinking fast, his self esteem was already on the floor, and his confidence was non-existent.

The only thing stopping him from breaking down and crying like an injured four year old was Dean. Dean and his weird behaviour had side tracked Sam's emotional baggage and as long as Dean remained in this strange yo-yo mood, Sam was beginning to realise that he was going to have to keep an even closer eye on Dean.

Sam stared at Dean's face, waiting to hear his brother's explanation for where their father was this time.

Something was already dawning on Sam that this conversation was going to be interesting….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

"What is with you and always wanting to know where dad is..?" Dean challenged, "He's not five and he's made it clear in the past Sam that he doesn't need us around..."

Sam's mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe Dean had said that.

"Whoa, where the heck did that come from…?" Sam demanded, he wished his voice sounded stronger than what it was, but truth was, he was just too weak.

"Look, Sam, it's just gonna be you and me for a little while ok..." Dean said in a rushed tone as he paced around the room again.

Sam stared at Dean; he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Dad's, gone..?" Sam whispered, "No, way, Dean…-"

"Look, he's got a lead or something and said he had to check some stuff out…" Dean said never looking at Sam, "So just chill ok, get some sleep and we'll take off later today..."

"Sleep..?" Sam demanded as he struggled again into a sitting position. "Dean, where is dad..? When did he leave..?"

"Just a few hours ago..." Dean lied as he paused at the window and stared out of it, "He told me to tell you to just get better…"

"Just get better..? That's it…?" Sam whispered unable to keep the hurt look out of his voice. "He didn't say anything else..?"

"What the hell do you want Sam..?" Dean shouted at him, Sam's hazel eyes growing wide at the out burst. "I told you what he said, now just swallow it and do what he asked for once in your friggin life…"

"Dean..!" Sam said in total surprise.

"Well if you'd done what you were friggin well supposed to do in the first place then we wouldn't even…-"Dean's voice trailed off, the words out his mouth before his brain had even kicked into gear.

Where on earth had that come from..?

Sam stayed silent to stun to say anything. Dean's face however said everything, as he rubbed his tired hands over his exhausted face.

"Sammy…." Dean said his voice barely even there, "I…"

Sam's eyes moved away from Dean, an awful strangled silence falling into the room. Dean could barely breathe; the walls were closing in on him. He had no idea what was happening to him but this wasn't how Dean Winchester behaved.

Before Sam could say anything to Dean, Dean grabbed his jacket and headed out the motel door…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

…_Pull yourself together…_Dean snapped at himself, his anger brewing inside of him. He sat in the only other place he knew he could be safe in. His beloved Impala. Sitting in the driving seat his hands resting on the steering wheel, Dean was having trouble getting over what had taken place in the motel room.

He should not have talked to Sam that way. He was out of line. Normally he would have joked it off, and said something funny but for half a second, just a second he found his mind wondering something that hadn't even occurred to him.

Was this really Sam's fault..?

I mean it would explain why John had taken off the way he had; Sam had refused a direct order.

"What am I saying…" Dean muttered, "I told him not to do it.."

It was one of the only explanations that Dean could come up with. John had left them because they'd failed. He's taken off a year ago to find this demon without his children, and now, after Dean and Sam had persuaded him that they were stronger as a family, they had gone off hunting this thing together. They'd found it together.

And together they'd let the bastard go.

…_What have we done…._ Dean thought_….This thing is going to kill us…._

The demon played the boys weakest link, each other.

Dean's hand reached for the glove box, opened it and pulled out his father's journal. Dean remembered the co-ordinates off his head; he'd check them up another time. Right now he was too angry to care about where they would take them.

…_Sam's not to be blamed; none of this is his fault. None of it…_Dean told himself.

Sighing, the elder hunt stared at his motel room knowing that Sam was probably lying on the bed trying to make sense to his brother's behaviour. He was going to have to at least tell him part of this story. Just which part Dean wasn't sure.

Was Sam strong enough to know about the fact that their dad was gone without even a second thought about them. Was Sam strong enough to know that he'd died, come back from the dead and now had half a hospital looking for the miracle patient.

Was Sam strong enough to know that he was going to have to take it easy for quite a long time that hunts will have to be thrown to the back burner.

Dean swallowed; maybe he hadn't thought this through. Maybe he couldn't take care of Sam. While he may want to put hunting at a side for a little while, would evil be willing to let them do so..?

After all, now divided and injured, to Dean this was the perfect time for evil to attack. And if Dean knew evil the way he did, then an attack on them would be imminent.

Dean stared at the journal; he was going to have to hide this for a little while. Knowing Sammy, he'd want to go look for their dad, while at this moment; the last thing Dean wanted was to see their father.

Dean found a small smile hovering on his face as he thought of the irony. Only last year the roles had been reversed. It's funny what twelve months could do.

Dean would have done anything to find their father. Sam wanted to find their father and then kill the demon that had murdered his girlfriend and their mother. Sam had ignored his chance of revenge to save his father and Dean had simply lost his father.

Right now the only thing Dean felt when he thought about his father was abandoned, alone, forsakened….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam turned and looked at the motel door which opened quietly. Entering with a strange look on his face was Dean. On seeing Sam standing up, Dean looked about ready to pass out.

"What are you doing..?" Dean demanded hurrying to Sam's side.

"I'm getting a drink…" Sam muttered in frustration at how slow his body moved, " Can't find a glass…"

"Right…" Dean said moving to where he'd spotted the glasses earlier and filled it up with water.

Sam grudgingly took the glass from Dean. Sam studied the glass in his hand.

"Something wrong..?" Dean wondered looking at the face Sam wore.

"Just wondering if I should throw it at you or drink it…" Sam muttered tight lipped.

"Oh right, about...-"Dean started, about to brush it off as just him being a little tired.

"No, Dean, you tell me right now what is going on…!" Sam demanded his voice fierce, "What is this thing in my hair, why do you seem to know more what's wrong with me, than what I do..?"

"Look, you need to calm down Sam, now come on.." Dean said stretching out a hand to take Sam to the bed.

"This is calm…" Sam seethed, "Now spit it out Dean.."

Dean watched as Sam reluctantly moved towards one of the old chairs and sat down on it. Dean lent against the small table and studied his younger brother's face.

"You've been pretty ill…" Dean admitted his eyes now dropping to the floor, "You've been in a coma Sam for days…"

"How long..?" Sam whispered as he touched the back of his head gingerly, "Does that explain this..?"

"Yeah…" Dean said with a nod, "You had a blood clot some kind of haemorrhage, they had to operate to remove it and you just fell into coma…"

Dean stared at Sam's now quiet face.

"You taking all this in..?" Dean asked in a quizzical manner.

"I'm shocked, not stupid Dean…" Sam muttered as he placed the glass of water on the floor.

"Wow, at least the blood clot didn't remove your swanky sarcasm…" Dean muttered.

"It still doesn't explain why you literally dragged me out the hospital tonight..." Sam said in quietly. "You were scared Dean, you've been scared the whole time I've been awake.."

"I'm not scared..!" Dean protested, "I don't do sacred.."

"Apparently you don't do honesty either..." Sam mumbled.

"Don't be like that…" Dean said in a small voice, "You don't know how hard this is for me Sam…"

"Then make me understand…" Sam pleaded, "Dean I'm standing on the sidelines here trying to make sense of everything. I went to sleep and woke up only to find out my father has gone off hunting and my brother is auditioning for the part of a dead corpse on E.R…!"

"I don't look that bad…" Dean muttered as he got up and went to the small wooden mirror that hung over the chest of draws, "Do I…?"

Sam grinned, only Dean could panic about his appearance at a time like this.

"Why are you making this so hard..?" Sam asked him in a defeated tone.

"We need a holiday…" Dean said with a smile, "Somewhere hot, so you can stop auditioning for the role of Casper…"

"Here we go again…" Sam said shaking his head which he regretted. "Dean, I was in a coma, ok I get that, I get the operation and the pain in my head now…"

"Your head's hurting, why didn't you say so..?" Dean said already moving towards the bag he'd brought with him from the hospital. He pulled out a plastic bag full of medication, "Got to be something in here to help..."

"Dean, it still doesn't explain why you wanted us to leave the hospital…" Sam said as Dean continued to glance at the many bottles of pills.

"We don't have to go too far, somewhere hot and in state…" Dean said looking up a second, "How does Florida grab you..?"

"I know you're ignoring me…" Sam said simply as Dean walked up to him with a pill bottle in his hand. "Dean..?"

"It's called carefully avoiding the question..." Dean said with one of his killer smiles, "When you get to be as smart as me, you learn how to do it…"

"You know I always thought that things were different between me and you…" Sam suddenly said, his voice vacant, "But maybe nothing's changed…"

"What, are you talking about..?" Dean asked as he snapped off the lid and jiggled two blue pills out and placed them in Sam's hand. "Now drink it up.."

"Doesn't matter…" Sam mumbled as he swallowed the two tablets and looked back at Dean. "You asked me to trust you…"

"Yeah, I did, so would you just shut your cake hole and do so..?" Dean said with a smart assed grin.

Sam stayed quiet and gingerly eased himself out the chair. He was in too much pain and Sam couldn't help but find it alarming that his body was struggling to co-operate with him. Dean held out a hand for support, but Sam stubbornly refused it.

"Dude you'll fall flat on your face…" Dean said in a matter of fact tone.

"So be it…" Sam muttered as he held onto all the furniture around the room and found himself stuck by the wall, the bed lay just a few feet from him, yet he knew he couldn't make it.

Sighing Dean grabbed him, looped his protesting brother's hand over his shoulders and helped him slowly to the bed. Sam dropped lightly onto it, and Dean sat down on the bed beside him.

"Why can't you tell me what's going..?" Sam asked in a hurt tone. "What do you think I'm gonna do Dean, run away..?"

"It's another story for another day, ok little man…?" Dean said getting up from the bed and walking towards his own. "We got plenty of time to talk…"

"I hope you're right Dean…" Sam said in a small voice, "Because I have a right to know what's happening to me, to us…"

"God you can be so mellow dramatic, besides don't you think we've had enough girly conversations for one night…" Dean muttered, "Lord knows I have…"

Sam didn't answer and Dean peeped over at his little brother who had already fallen asleep.

"Sweet dreams Sammy…" Dean said as he slipped off his boots and climbed onto his own bed.

With the pain-killers and antibiotics now running around Sam's system, Dean made a note to make sure Sam finished every single one of those tablets. It was the only thing that Dean knew that would aid Sam's recovery.

With Sam now resting, Dean found his own body beginning to relax, and he closed his eyes; his head nestling in the pillows.

Things were going to be tough, hard, and extremely difficult even; but Dean wasn't going to give up without a fight. Dean wasn't prepared to let Sam die at the hands of this demon and more importantly, Dean wasn't ready to lose Sam yet, not to a demon and certainly not to death itself. The elder Winchester had experienced what that loss had felt like, he'd be damned if was to ever feel that again.

Nope, for now Dean had his priorities straight, and the one and only thing on his list was to keep Sam with him.

Glancing over at his sleeping brother, Dean grinned.

"Something tells me that's not going to be a problem…"

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Sam Winchester could hear Dean moving around the room, hopefully getting ready to get some sleep; his big brother needed it in more ways than Sam could explain.

Dean was still stalling with the information that Sam needed, but for now Sam realised that he would have to do the only thing that Dean had asked of his so far; to trust him.

Trusting Dean wasn't the issue. He trusted Dean with his very life and knew that Dean would do anything for him.

That was the bit that bothered Sam. Dean's selflessly willing attitude to keep his little brother safe.

That was bugging Sam, and he had no idea why. He'd always known that Dean would do anything for him but for some reason it just felt more important now. More real. The idea more deadly.

Sam swallowed, as he remembered the demon's threat to him back at the cabin. He had plans for Sam and all the other kids like him.

Dean would rather die first than let that demon get his hands on Sam.

It was a thought that worried Sam greatly.

Sam didn't know why, but he couldn't shake off the deja-vu feeling that kept forming in his gut.

While he couldn't make sense of it, he understood the reality behind it. Something would be coming after them both, and Sam was not willing to let Dean take this thing on by himself.

No way.

This was a new fight shaping up the Winchester's and Sam intended to be there by his brother's side; whether Dean agreed or not.

Sam was not going to lose Dean.

Not now, not ever….

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dr. Andrew Wallis studied the prescription he'd placed into Sam Turner's file and smiled. It looked like big brother Dean had picked it up and collected the medication.

…_Idiot…._ Dr. Wallis thought as he sat at his desk staring at the computer file.

If only they knew what was in those tablets. Two tablets in the morning, two in the evening. Both counteracting against each other. Both making Sam sick, both making his already fragile condition worse.

It wouldn't kill Sam, well; it would depend on how stubborn the Turner family really were. It would make Sam sick, very very sick, and then they'd have no choice but to return to hospital where Dr. Wallis would be waiting.

He'd circulated Sam and Dean's description to every single contact he had in every hospital he knew.

It wouldn't take long to track them down.

And when the Turner family came crawling back for help, Dr. Wallis would be ready.

Ready to claim the fame and fortune he'd worked for his entire life. Ready to talk about the miracle patient that had come back from the dead. Ready to discuss the in's and out's of how he, the incredible doctor had managed to do it.

He knew he would have to keep Sam with him to explain it all, to run all the tests and show his miracle patients physiology to the world, but he was willing to do it no matter what it took.

It would be the biggest uproar this side of the century and Dr. Wallis intended to lead it all the way.

Dr. Kessin had pleaded for him to leave the boys alone, to let them go. He'd promised the good old doctor that he would and the fool had believed him. Stupid old man and his morals.

Nobody was going to take this opportunity from him.

Nobody.

And with that, his blue eyes rolled in his head filling the vacant space with an inky, filthy, soulless, blackness.

Yes, the games were really about to begin.

The hunters were about to become the hunted….

The End

xxxxXXXXxxxx

2# Lying in Wait

Someone's playing deadly mind games with Sam and Dean and it's destroying the boys. Sam feels trapped as he deals with the aftermath of Dean's bizarre behaviour while Dean struggles emotionally with their father's abandonment. Fighting to stay on top of it, the Winchester boys reach breaking point when they begin to doubt each other. Will they find out the truth behind the games, before they destroy the only thing left in their lives- each other.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

**Life and site permitting 'Lying in Wait' should start on Wednesday. Hope to see you guys in there. Thanks again for all your support and wonderful reviews. xxx**


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